This was the first time I had been to the Star and Garter in a long while and in truth I was looking forward to the visit.  It would be good to catch up with a few faces and also support local promoter Slit boy Dean Diggle in his quest to avoid the re-mortgage of his house and to avoid the sale of his grandmother’s plastic hip collection.

The venue on arrival was far from busy but the punters arrived in good time and a fair crowd greeted the first band.  Over 30 minutes behind schedule at this early stage didn’t bode well and the first two acts had to rush their sets which I feel they did with casual aplomb and reflected just how good they were. 

We kicked off with Dead Subverts, a crew I had planned on seeing several times before but had been sidetracked in my own self-made mycological mire.  What I had heard on CD was pretty impressive and this was a fair ‘live’ do to back up this embryonic promise.  The bare window at the back ruined to set somewhat and all us poor paying folk had to put up with watching what was in truth a fuckin’ silhouette show.  Mind you with that ugly bastard Pete on bass it is most probably just as well (love you really mate).  Yeah I liked this and so did the ever-growing crowd.  The 3 players did a sterling job with particular note made of the eye-catching drummer.  There was a few basic punk as fuck tunes in there which held the more intricate numbers together and really varied the set as a whole.  Short, to the point and with a quick pulse rate I think this was a corking start.

Next up and yeah let’s talk about my ‘Thingy’.  No not me todge you set of foul-minded bastards but a song dedicated to yours truly by that awesome two-piece (or should that be cod-piece) the 2 Sick Monkeys.  And what a song – well instrumental to be honest but hey who cares.  It was fuckin’ mesmerising and was a real ‘look at us we are fuckin’ good’ moment that kicked arse and crunched bollock.  The most heart warming aspect for me as a long term 2SM flag flyer was to see the duo play to a crowd who lapped it up and gave them firm appreciation.  OK half the fuckers weren’t here to see this crew as they were here for the last two outfits but the fact is now they have tasted the primate punkage they are well and truly hooked.  You won’t find a better, hard-working band on the circuit and I am so glad they got some new fans on board tonight.  ‘Too Many Secrets’ was another high but the whole set buzzed and I didn’t see anyone who could offer a complaint – job done!  A big upward curve is beginning here and I reckon I am fully justified in being rather petty and smug in stating ‘I told ya so – nah, nah, nah, nah, nah)!

Next Moral Dilemma – apparently very good but I was gossiping like an old fish wife downstairs and didn’t see em’.  I have seen em’ before and they are good at what they do – is it my bag – I can take it or leave it but I can see why they attract the punters.

Finally Star Fuckin’ Hipsters – the hype or the tripe hit the stage and the first song was for me nothing to get a hard on for.  The second song however was a diamond and really hit the spot and promise was renewed with the usual objective Fungal stance adopted.  I knew little and I still do to be brutally truthful and on this showing I ain’t bothered either way.  In parts there were some exciting moments and yet in others the set became formulated and typical of a sub-scene that is too insulated.  I had the feeling that the band had a lot in reserve but without pushing all cylinders to the max.  Fair enough but when a band headlines and takes the majority of the pay then you wanna see sweat.  2 Sick Monkeys could have headlined this and no one should have batted an eyelid.  They would have of course because the mystique of an overseas band with several big-name drops would have been missing.  Crap hey!  Anyway – SFH did the job and myself and a few comrades left before the end unhappy with what we saw but I for one wouldn’t slate em’ as the crowd was obviously loving it.  My personal reason for the attendance tonight was for the first two bands anyway and to support Dean. I just hope he saw to it that my £10 on the door went to the opening acts where my heart always dwells.  Loads of people reading this will think old Fungal is just being an awkward cunt again but all I can say is you get yer moneys worth and all I can do is like what I like. 

So the night done and a job well done by Dean the incredible twitching promoter.  I hope this lad gets his head sorted and takes things a little more slowly rather than burden himself with bands demands and worry about meeting the needs.  Maybe I am naive in thinking punk is about sharing and being in it together and all bands get treated equally, take a fair share of the cake and eat the shit together what comes with it – if so then no apologies and so be it – idealism isn’t ignorance and I will keep on trying. I find it a pity that Dean had to eat the biggest piece of poo pie tonight and lost £140 out of his own sky rocket. 14 payers he needed to break even - so close yet so far.

Good luck to all tonight and cheers to my chums who I came down to catch up with – I hope you get the job Jan and Miller mate – glad it went well in court and I hope that lady drops the charges ha, ha.