Geeza of


Baldy bother boy

1. The Scabs - Please elaborate?

Ugly crustations that you can't resist picking he he.
We are a four piece punk outfit from the sheep shagging town of Penrith in Cumbria, we do all our own stuff and don't do covers and we have a six track cd out called Pick Em & Bleed.
The current line-up is our third and hopefully will remain the last. We are me goodself on vocals, Ben Drums, Steve Guitar & Mike Bass.
Our music, we like to think is original and played with passion!

2. Paul Daniels once said 'I love nobbing turkeys' What do you think he meant and have you ever been involved in farmyard misdemeanours?

Everyone knows Daniels is a sexual deviant with a fondness for stuffing poultry with his magic wand as he likes to call it, Fuckin Gobbler!
Whilst on camp with the scouts when I was a young u'n dib dib, we were out in the countryside on a mission to find the furryback passage armed with just a compass & torch. I found myself parted from the pack after I had stopped to spy on the legendary barebacked tittynibbler.
Anyway after several hours of walking through fields and glades I stumbled on a farm. I forgot to mention it was a red hot summers day.
I walked into the farmyard and noticed as I passed one of the barns a young lady sucking profusely on the large cock of a stallion. Ney I said (ooopps sorry about that just had a mucky mag moment) back to the question, no I aint and I wouldnt tell you anyways.

3. What is your favourite Scabs song and why?

Got to be the one we always start our gigs with - Stalker. One of the first songs we wrote and I think we delve into the sexual deviants sewer very well!

4. Why should anyone pay decent money to watch someone sing underhand deviant songs?

Cos the singer is an underhand deviant worth watchin he he.

5. What is your ideal gig to play on?

Got to be Boltons kings of oi! Churchill along with the mighty Boredom, the very original Suspicious Stains and Baltimore bruisers Dead End Boys and us. Not bothered where but the Soundhouse Bolton would be topdog as that's me home town, oh and organised by yourself of course.

6. Whats the best and worst things about being a punk?

For me its meeting other likeminded folk and watchin the bands especially the Spit & Sawdust lot as this is real Punk. No bollox, no ego, no pretentious shit, just fucking good music that will be around for a long time to come if we all stick together and support it. Reet thats enough I'm beginning to sound like that wanker Bono.
Oh the bad things, those that are out to rip people off, tossers!

7. Rectal Blowpipes-fun or very fuckin dangerous?

With my arse - very fuckin dangerous, especially after a moth and mushroom madrass.

8. What's the best gig The Scabs have played and why?

Definitely Bradfords Exchange when we played with Koncept, Pestpocken and Dead End Boys. A great bunch of people and a crackin venue and audience.

9. Any heroes we should know about?

Heroes are useless, but big respect to big Sam Allardyce who unlike Mr Daniels has performed real magic at Bolton Wanderers.

10. What are The Scabs trying to achieve in the music scene?

To get out there and give real Punks and likeminded people a night to remember, no shit, no pretence just good old original in your face entertainment.

11. Arthur Mullard v Benny Hill in a naked Kung Fu bout - tell me the winner and why?

Good evening ladies and gents, you join us here live in The Dog & Partridge in Bolton for an evening of no holds barred Kung Fu with the kings of slap n tickle. In the Greggs pie shop corner the fat bastard himself Arthur Mullard and in the Greenhalghes shop corner we have that cheeky chappie Benny Hill.
Well folks they're both greased up and ready to kick flab.

Oh Benny gets in quick one with a nice lamb chop to Mullards kidneys but Arthur comes back with a lean rasher of bacon blows to Bennys head. Bennys down but as fast as a ferrit on your knackers he hurls a Manchester tart right into the gob of Mullard who just can't resist the sloppy inards of this temptress and he falls back on the ropes.
Benny follows through with a succession of Cheese and O pies which all hit the target. Mullard is grovelling around the canvas now and slipping in his own saliva and pie entrails as Benny delivers the sucker punch with a huge ace in the form of a steak & kidney pie from Carrs Pastie Shop which he rams down Mullards throat and in just under one minute and thirty seconds its all over folks. Benny the fastest Milkman in the west has defeated the mighty Mullard.

12. What frustrates you most in the world today and how can punk contribute to a better society?

Too many things mate but I ain't gonna rant on about em, get out there and support your local Punk bands fuck knows the gigs are cheap enough and your guaranteed a fucking good nite out

Ta We Do Say TA