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1. Tell us your role in The Scabs, how it came about and what ambitions you have for the band?

I'm the bass player and do some backing vocals as well. I never say I'm a backing 'singer' cos that would imply some kind of vocal talent. Haha, I'm getting better tho.

I'd been playing bass for over a year and was on the verge of "I'm gonna get into a band or jack it in" and concentrate on solo guitar or piano where I started out. Luckily as I was about to sell my bass I saw a scruffy lookin piece of paper on a supermarket notice board, sayin' a bass player was wanted. It didn't give the band name but said, "attitude and basic ability important, no wannabe rockstars". I rang up Steve and after a chat he brought me round the EP for me to learn, which I did, and fast. Until we found Steve 'the goatman' Brown we still didn't have a guitarist at that point and Steve asked me if I wanted to play guitar. Luckily I said no cos the goatdude kicks my arse on guitar. I offered to do backing vox cos lets face it, most of the time I've got the least to do.

I still did sell that first bass but only cos I'd seen the bass I really wanted. It was love at first stroke.

2. What are your influences in life and music?

In life I like to be around positive thinking people. I know sometimes people have problems and that's fine cos everyone does every now and then. Doom and gloom mongers just annoy me, why do I want to listen to that? People that don't mind being a bit different or looking out of place are great. My friend Matt has been a big influence on my outlook on life. He's practically unembarassable and hanging out with him for 3 years at college definately chilled me out a lot. Plus although he won't admit it and despite his short stubby fingers, he's a really good acoustic guitarist. Thankfully all my friends tend to be open minded.

Musically I'm all over the place. Here's a genuine list of some people and bands that have influenced me:

Beethoven, Chopin, Satie, Erasure, Radiohead, R.E.M., Blink 182, my high school geography teacher Mike McLean who sadly died of a brain tumour last year (he had/has a degree in classical composition), Screeching Weasel, Rufus Wainwright......blah blah.

3. John Knuckleduster once tried to insert a mountain into his back bucket so as to feel the pinnacle against his valve. Is this taking deviancy too far and would you consider inserting any natural feature up your jacksie?

You'll have to excuse me, it took a couple of mins to realise what you meant by back bucket. Good luck to him I say. As far as I'm concerned people can do what they like to their own 'valve', just remember for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction and nature always has a way of restoring balance. I'm sure sufferers of the ol' Rockford Files (yep that's rhyming slang) would agree. For this reason my jacksie is only touched by bog roll. I love the outdoors and being close to nature but close is close enough.

4. What or who motivates you. Money, power, the need to drink the blood of leathered sausage dogs - please elaborate?

For someone hideously under employed I'd have to say it's not money. Playing on stage is a great buzz and I love that but it's important to do yourself justice and play to the best of your ability firstly cos people have paid to get in and deserve a good show and cos I'm driven by the fear of failure. But how do sausage dogs become leathered? Is it their owners spending ridiculous amounts of money on dog clothin? Or do they love them so much they become leathered due to friction? I'd rather not think about it.

5. What are the pros and cons of being in a band like The Scabs?

The pros are groupies, I think we have 2 unofficial ones and no official ones. Getting something you've created heard by loads of people is nice and at the same time unsettling. Another pro for me was that when I joined there were already 6 - 8 good songs to get stuck in to. Now we have a good long set and too much new stuff than we can deal with at the moment. I feel lucky to be in with these guys.

Cons include the fact that as soon as you say punk to a bar owner they have visions of their establishment being wrecked by hoards of leather clad footy hooligans and immediately phone security before you've even discussed possible dates for a gig. Which brings me onto another con. Stupid violent wankers who think it's ok to use punk as an excuse to let out their own pent up aggression and generally give other people a right ol' miserable time - it's the subject of more than one Scabs song.

Punk in our case is a style of music that people seem to relate to us cos of how we sound, what we like and maybe how we are. As individuals we are punk for different reasons and as different as each other. It's not something that bothers us and I'm not about to start arguing or discussing music genres cos I don't think it matters.

6. Steve Scab once made a scooter using nothing more than 2 ladies bra's, an old star wars light saber and 14 knicker elastics. He spent 5 weeks in intensive care after nipping to the shops on it for an half ounce of shag? Could you have designed a better mode of transport using the said equipment?

I can envision some kind of parachute type affair using the bras for canopies. The elastic would form some type of harness. The light sabre would be to swish at any inconvenient foliage that blocked the landing sight, and like Dead End Dave - it would also be for show too. If you're lucky enough top check him out you just wana hang out with him for the reflected glory. The cons are that this transport would have a very much descent oriented trajectory.

7. Tell us about the best gig you have attended and what made it so special.

I think R.E.M. are the best live band I've ever seen and I mean in terms of sound quality and the ability to put on a great show. Michael Stipe is the most enigmatic front man around - he's a totally different animal on stage - and I love it when they play their old stuff from like before I was born. I've seen 'em twice, both times at Old Trafford Cricket ground in Manc'. I'm fairly new to all-punk gigs but so far I'm lovin' it mainly cos you can dance and jig like a tit and it's ok.

8. The punk scene- tell us your gripes and pleasures?

Main gripe it's that it's so limited epecially up here in Cumbria. People go to a lot of effort to put on events and people say oh yeah we'll definitely come and then they don't. I make a point of going to see other gigs cos I think if someone like me doesn't go to see them then who the fuck will come and see us, plus I love watchin other bands. That's a definite pleasure. An other gripe would be the aforementioned fake punk nob heads who ruin it for other people.

9. In 3 words each describe your fellow band members and that rapscallion who manages you - namely Ronaldo Rometh.

Steve (Geeza) True northern punk
Ben (Da Rulez) Hard hittin stickmeister
Steve (goatman) Ruddy perfectionist rocker
Ronnie - Friendly but frightening :)

10. What are your main ambitions as a Scab?

As we all work full time I see it as a hobby (and what a hobby) but I'll personally go wherever it takes us and put my all in to it. We all wana kick arse on the Spit and Sawdust tour next year and we can't wait for that. A record label would be nice.

11. If you could promote a punk gig tell us where and when it would be, entrance fee and what 6 bands would be on it?

It would be in my home city of Kingston upon Hull cos it needs a kick in the teeth even tho I love it. It's a huge city and it would be in the KC stadium. I'd have my friends from the lovely state of Michigan come over for a Hol too so they could see it and I could see them.

The bill would be in no particular order:
The Guilty Pleasures cos they are really good, Never So True - I think the best unsigned band in the country. Somehow, mortality permitting, I'd have the Sex Pistols OR Sham69 (how obvious) there (that only counts as one) and re-form Blink 182 with no arguing. The Scabs would obviously play ;-) Suprisingly Radiohead would play just for two or three songs, uh you said punk. Well check out 'Lewis [mistreated]' and 'Nothing Touches Me'. Maybe Pop is Dead too. Again I'm not too bothered about what is punk. Different people......different drinks.

12. Frederico Oilball once had breast implants but instead of using silcon he used two full baked beans tins. The advert always said 'BEANZ MEANZ HEINZ' - is this company a satanic firm hellbent on filling the world with people who have cylinder shaped titties that can lactate pure tomato juice. Elaborate on your own theory. And...San Miguel - a message to punks everywhere please?

Well if you say Beansz meansz heinz backwards, it spells ZNIEH ZSNAEM ZSNAEB and it is this subconcious chant which is played low on all their tv commercials that is responsible for everything orange in the world allegedly. I'm having sewious weservation abou their satanic cwedential, won hundwa percen gawantee. That reminds me - Vic and Bob are also a huge source of inspiration to me.

The coolest people are the ones who have no concept of cool and just get on and do their own thing. The whole concept of punk is that anything goes. As long as the underlying person is decent and honest it doesn't matter what you look like or what you're in to. As with your own taste in music it's not about what's good, but what you like, and no two people are ever gonna totally agree.