Punkined of



1. Give us a brief punk history of Punkined so far. Where did it all begin!

It started when I was 12 and a half and living on a run down estate. Heard a great tune by The Damned and thought I like this shit. Moving on at 14 I was kicked out by my parents, at 15 got a flat with other stray punks off the estate and gave every waif and stray a roof over their heads.

Tried to home educate myself lol but no quicker education than living hand to mouth and not knowing were your next meal comes from but having a good band of punk brothers and sisters going to gigs, wild parties and pogoing became my life - meeting new punks, skins and so on - bonding and hanging around with bands. I found fun and I once got up at a gig when the singer buggered off but everyone else buggered off so I was back to pogoing and drinking and having a good time! When I was aged 30 punk seemed to die around me- it was like been the only punk in town hence 'Punkined' because punk is not what you wear its all about attitude! A slight back track here to 1979. I got a mohican, stuck the bugger up with gloss paint and it stayed up for 6 weeks bollox.

2 or 3 years ago I decided to try putting gigs on but it was been done by others and failing in Bradford after a try by your goodself Mr Fungalpunk which was a real shame as you pulled out all the stops and did everything to make it work. I realised Bradford's punk scene was not pulling together so I tried to give it a shot myself. I'd put bands on in Bradford before all modern technology came along - lol. The first gig I got over a 100 turn out with The Negatives, Captain Hotknifes and the Prairie Dugz. The second gig was not so good 30 - 40 - not great.

I stumbled drunk into Halifax one day to see GHB and said to Landlord Baz that I'll help out. I started getting in a few support bands and now get all support bands and some headling bands. I believe it is all about giving bands somewhere to play and The Shay is giving new bands a chance and putting more bands on each gig. It keeps the scene buzzing along nicely as there is some really great bands who just wanna play their stuff.

If I've helped one or 50 then great. I've helped my now buddies out No Eager Men and am kicking their arses lol. I met them at Rebellion a few years back, wrote some bollox songs for them, had a laugh, pogoed when no else did. Do I give a fuck? No if I did I'd be a chav and I'd write shit poetry.

Basically I'm insane - like me, hate me - I don't care - the worlds fucked up so punk should live forever/ punx not for Christmas it's for life.

2. Best and worst bands you have seen mate and the best and worst venues you have been to on your travels.

Too many bands to remember. I just have my own party and if bands are crap I don't care. If they give 100 percent effort I would not slag them off and it would help if I was sober at the odd gig.

Best band I've seen was The Clash' lots of nice punk girls sneaked me in through the toilet window, bought me beer etc. Venues are the ones what run 'Nice n Sleazy' and 'Rebellion' but still love little gigs even if there is not a big crowd - more space to pogo on my own again lol.

3. Give us your personal punk mission statement. Sum up it 3 or 4 sentence what punk means to you.

Punk music when you hear it makes the hairs on my neck stand up when you see Beki Bondage it makes other parts stand up. Mission - give as many bands a break as possible
and enjoy it myself while doing so!

4. 'I filled the bath with urine, inserted the Japanese dwarf and put the frogs inside the floating globes as it said in the instructions. When I dipped my erection into the piss I had no sensation whatsoever'. So sayyeth Albert 5 Pricks at a recent court hearing where he was filing charges against Orgasmo Kneecap and his 'Sexual Filth Company'. Mr 5 Pricks brought a DIY orgasm booklet and tried to achieve a state of climax using the above techniques. Due to receiving no feeling and ending up with nappy rash on the bell Mr 5 pricks took the company to court. Anyway the question is - where did Mr 5 Pricks go wrong and would you eat goldfsh excrement for a can of Carlsberg?

Fine - who the fuck is Albert and where can I rent one of these japanesse dwarfs. I personally drink bitter and have eaten worse for a bet!

5. Influences in life and music mate and also the heroes and zeroes you have come across in the scene!

I don't do heroes except Charlie Harper. Zeroes -I just brush zeroes to one side and get on with my life not got time for that bolloxs - too old for that lol.

6. Tell us about your local punk patch - faces, gaffs, bands and off-licences!

Bradford - 1 in 12 Club/Rio's/The Exchange/Gasworks for rock. Halifax - The Shay. Too many faces to mention. Bands - The Negatives, No Eager Men, Wild Trash, Threshold Shift - Off Licences - Asda three cases for 20 quid - Asda price bum bum.

7. Describe your character in 5 words - one of which must have carpet connotations?

Twat lol trying to confuse me with them big words!

8. Compare today's scene with that of the old days. Give us the plusses and negatives of both and which do you think is best?

Today's scene is bigger and has easier access for youths to get guitars and stuff. There are more venues to play and the old days were my time. The old days were total chaos but I would not change a thing. Punx for life and not for bloody Christmas.

9. Using nothing more than a manipulated coat hanger Steven Scabistro of the Scabs now has a square anus. His turns now have 4 sides and can be sun baked, cut up and used as gaming dice. It gives the name 'craps' a more justifiable edge. The question - if your anus could be any shape which would it be and would there be any political reasoning behind this?

It would be a twenty pound note shape and every time I had a shite one would come outta me arse - no political reason I just like twenty pound notes.

10. Tell us about your fave books, fave films and fave TV show - a bog standard question but why the hell not?

Books square things with pages yeah great, tv's yeah square things with pictures, films stick them in camaras don't ya?

11. Pumpkin underpants - would you wear them and... would you eat Ken Dodd for £38 pounds.

I'd eat Ken Dodd for 38p - pumpkin uderpants yeah sounds mental enough for a laugh why not!

12. Finally tell us all why we should stay true to punk and continue to dwell in this fine musical scene.

Get real Dave it's not just the music it's the friends, the fun times, the pogoing, great sound, great scene. Punk should live forever fuck chavs - leon