1. Porl Casperooni - tell us thy musical history so far & a bit of what makes you tick?

Drums or guitar? - Had always been torn between bashing one of the two when it boiled down to bands or instrumentation preference as such. Youth Movement was the first of many band names I hooked up with in 1979. Up until 1981 I had short lived experiences with Skitzefreniks, Passion Killers and Mist Monsters.  I was a fledgling back then and the Punk scene was rife when the 70’s scene entwined with the  80’s phase. I witnessed some great bands, played very many gigs and met some truly outrageous, fun bound marvellous people along the way.  It all really meant something in those days and made such impact and threw a big spanner in the works.  The energy, drive and reason spurned me on to a life line of everlasting perpetual punk felt bliss.  Not only in a musical sense but ingrained to remain as a way of thinking and outlook to my own life.

2.  Total Confusion - where did it all start, why the name and tell us a little bit about the song writing process from initial thought to stage!

I was introduced to 'Fusion' by the drummer at the time in 1981 - Woody may remember it well.  I blasted out a riff of 'Police Story' by The Partisans to seal my place in the band as guitarist. So far as I know Total Confusion took root in 1979 but were originally called 'The Suffocators' (Paddy and Sutty were members).  The actual band name Total Confusion is something of Sutty's initial name mongering and is somewhat self explanatory regards the way human kind are fucking up everywhere, everyone and everything big style.  Song writing has generally derived from a simple guitar riff adding lyrics thereafter.  As well as writing new stuff, favourites from the early days are revitalised.

3. Punk - what the fuck is it all about? After all these years I find myself disillusioned.  What are your thoughts on this modus operandi and the scene as it stands today?

Punk these days seems in most cases more of a commodity and to many 'had a rough day at work' escapism.  I can handle or adapt to changes and thankfully there are still those among us who stand to reason and keep some kinda sense of it all.

4. Tell us about your local area - the players, the fakers, takers, good, bad and ugly?

My local area is 2 mins from the Peak District border along with the Pennine Trail at my doorstep.  I reside in the middle of fuckin’ nowhere to be honest. 

5. Porl rhymes with ball and in the 70’s a bald headed kid on had a magic one! Do you remember this disturbing prog and if ye had a magic ball would you leave it hanging out yer trousers and would you let Frank Muir (of Call My Bluff fame) use it to advertise a fruit and nut bar (emphasis on nut). If you answer ‘yes’ please tell us why and accept a Fungal tranquiliser for your mental stability.

Don't recall a bald headed kid with a magic ball, I was more of an outdoor type playing street football, doing shitty shotty or backyard chicken runs. As for Frank Manuir, would anyone not gayly inclined permit someone famous for wearing a pink bow tie come anywhere near your nuts intent to call your bluff?

6. The best and worst - bands you have seen, books in your home, CD's in your collection, Total Confusion songs?

Aww gawwd so many best bands.  Now worst bands I'm not so sure I could answer this as probably the worst could be the best in a characteristic kinda fashion and my way of thinking. Its like saying Tommy Cooper was the worst magician if you see where I'm coming from. Best Book - The Twits by Roald Dahl. Worst book - Allen Carr's easy way to stop smoking. CD’s - as a whole any bands/singers that have 'baby' in their lyrics I despise and CD’s either go in the toaster on full pelt or are sold on to the clay pigeon shooters club.  Fave TC song is 'Blinded' at mo.

7. Your influences in life and music - and 2 things you hate about society please?

John Harris of tpuc.org (The Peoples United Community) has over the last few years influenced or perhaps more so inspired me to delve much deeper into our living history and observe the real truth regarding the contractual enslaved fictional lives we all lead.  From a long history of a musically orientated family background on both sides and from playing as early as 7yrs old I'd have to say music is hereditary rather than gain from any outside influence.  Two things I hate about society - political authority and double standards.

8. Cauliflower cretinism - is it a disease only affecting left wing curry dealers or do African Elton Welsby look-alikes need to watch out?  Also explain why the surge of this disease through the tower blocks of Torquay?

Can you repeat the question please? I often get bouts of an ailment known as 'Fuck Nose' and I'm suffering at this very moment.

9. What is the ideal gig you would like to play on as a band member - go on - 8 bands are on - pick the venue and bands and how much you charge?

Any venue, any bands, it don't matter.  The more the merrier! Be nice to charge a bankers bonus wouldn't it!

10. What advice would you offer to someone who was setting out in the punk scene as a band member for the very first time?

Play what you feel and mean what you mean...oh and try not to get too pissed beforehand!

11. Invent a flavour of crisps and tell us a little about the promotional campaign you would use and what would be the slogan to attract the buyers?  Bonus points if you add a celebrity into the mix to help push the product.

Cannabis flavour crisps called 'Stoners' would see Walkers go fuckin’ bankrupt I reckon.  Imagine Crystaline Green leaf shaped potato snacks fried in the finest of cannabis oils.  You won't get munchies when you're already munching.  As for the celebs side of it, would love the return of the laughing Smash Martians.  Get smashed!

12. And finally - you find yourself afloat on the last punk rock turd in the sea of apathy.  The sun beams down and the turd is baked hard and the cack starts to crack.  Within the drying filth you find a pointed peanut and so extract it.  Your mind is tortured you need to tell the world about your band - what will you etch upon the dehydrating sausage so as to persuade the populace to check you out.  This is your moment Casperooni - go forth and engrave the excreta!

I'd possibly engrave 'just had an exceedingly good shite' signed Mr.Kipling, but that’s too obvious an answer. Punx North, South, East and West spread the shit - Total Confusion Absurd Turd Tour or Bile on the Nile tour...why the long faeces Mr .Fungalpunk tis’ the best I can come up with.

 

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