1.   Give us a history of your punk life so far - the highs and the lows of
being a rebel with a reason!

 I've been a punk since I was a kid - even though there was a time I turned mod - I was about 16/17 and wanted a scooter!  Everbody I knew was either a punk or a skinhead - so I tried to be like Johnny Rotten when he dressed like a Ted.  I used to go to punk parties and they would always play Fuck a Mod by The Exploited - my mates would make them play Jam songs - more like a rebel without a clue.  It was a good laugh though.

I have to mention the mod bit or Doods wouldn't let me forget it.

2.   Compare punk as in then and now - which is best and what are the good
points and bad points of both eras?

Then - it was all knew, exciting and you didn't know what was going to happen next.

Now - you feel as if you have seen and done it all, then a band like Dogs Abuse pops up and you realise why you like it so much.

The difference between the two of them is hard to say - I know it's changed a lot but everyobody is changing with it so you don't really notice it as much.  I am enjoying it just as much now as I did then.  I just can't pogo for as long!

3.   Tell us about the Scottish punk scene and the best bands to hail from North of the Border?

The punk scene is up is the healthiest it has been for a long time - there is more happening now in Glasgow and Edinburgh than has for years.  As for bands - at the moment I would say some of the best bands are; Swellbellys,
Oi Polloi, Hateful, The Red Eyes, Dogs Abuse, UK Deathcharge, Mutley and many, many more.  If I misssed anybody out I apologise.

4.   Promoting gigs is always a time consuming and risky business but is
something that just gets hold of you.  How is your promoting venture going, who are the best bands you've had on so far and what are the main hazards of promoting gigs?

The promoting venture is going fine, having a great time and really enjoying it.  I've just recently teamed up with two great blokes - Doods and Jim and we have formed ThreeWizePunkies Promotions - check us out on Myspace.  Keep
an eye on it as there are some really tasty gigs coming up.

As for hazards, there aren't any - you are never out of pocket, you are never looking for equipment 10 mins before the gig kicks off, you never have bands complaining - delete as appropriate!!!!!!!

5.  Chocolate canoes - great idea for long river based holidays but when the
temperatures rise the canoe is no more.  Who cares anyway as the question is - do you believe in satanic budgies and if so what experiences have you had of these avian deviants?

We don't have avian deviants in this country - what we have is the Sabretooth Haggis!  You've got to watch out for these sharp teeth little buggers.  But if you ever get the chance to taste one - try it they are brilliant.

6.  What advice would you offer any young pup who is new to the punk scene or any new band for that matter?

Have fun, enjoy it, get your message across and never take it too serious or it comes back and bites you on the arse.

7.  Why punk?   Why not metal, ska, rap or even opera?  What is that thing
that makes you seek out punk music?

Why not!  Anybody that likes punk music knows its like a drug - its the most energetic, vibrant music.  It's like a full community with some of the nicest people you will ever meet on this planet.


8.   If you ever meet a guy called Tim 'Punk4Life' Davies be careful.  He is the insane offspring of a surreptitious affair by Val Doonican and Pam Ayres.  The first conversation you have with this guy may seem ok but it will be filled with various rhyming sentences and propaganda promoting rocking chair warfare.  Before you know it you will be spouting limericks and wearing chunky-knit cardigans.  Personally I feel the use of rocking chairs in warfare is wrong.  What are your thoughts on the subject?

I agree  I'm going to start a get the rocking chairs out of Iraq website. By next year we'll have global demonstrations

9.   Heroes and zeroes in life and music please?

I don't like the word hero - how can it be heroic playing music.  One person I do look up to though is Menzie - true working class voice.  If you talk about heroes all the working class heroes that do dead-end bottom wage jobs just to keep their family above the poverty line are the real heroes. Don't have any zeroes - don't like to say bad things about anybody.  But Maggie Thatcher comes right close!

10.  Best and worst gigs you have ever attended, where and why as well
please?

Best and worst gig is one in the same gig - November 1979 Tiffany's Ballroom in Glasgow it was the 4B2s supported by Angelic Upstarts.  The Upstarts came on and played a total blinder - only time I've ever seen a support band do 2 encores.  Then the 4B2s came on with Johnny Rotten in a special guest appearance - started singing all these Irish songs and out came the Irish Tricolour - next thing you know all the sectarian shit kicks off and fights break out everywhere - what a gig it was!  Total waste of a brilliant gig.

11.  Numerical Porn basically involves bending genitalia to the shape of
numbers.  1 is easy but 8 is literally a ball ache.  Take five minutes away from this interview and try and bend your privates as best you can and see what numbers you can come up with.  Anything of 4 digits gets you a night on the town with a Barbara Windsor look-a-like?

I've been at this for 20 mins now and still can't get a number 1!!!!!  Could you send me a booklet!

12.   Finally - promote your own patch of Motherwell and tell us why we
should all visit this sacred land and play there?

Motherwell is a very easy place to promote - if anybody has ever watched Shameless they ain't got a patch on this area.  Ask Boredom AD - they've seen it first hand!

 

One thing I will say though - come and play Motherwell, its an experience you'll never forget - that I can promise.