1.   51st State - how did you dudes get together and what targets do you have both as a band and personally?

Well we’re cousins so we’ve known each other for quite a while and both began to get listening and playing music together. Personally I’d like to just be able to enjoy what I’m doing and having a good laugh whilst perhaps inserting a meaningful message through our music.

2.  The best and worst gigs you have played so far and what made them so bright and shite respectively?

The worst would have to be WADSTOCK 08 which was an event at Justin’s school which he got us in. The audience was made up of bored school kids who were forced to attend and some twat of a teacher decided that my bass sound was too harsh to put through their amp as he thought it might damage it so I had to play with a clean sound or not at all. He didn’t know what the hell he was on about and that’s the worst.

It’s a hard decision but I reckon that the best gig was Attilla The Stockbroker at the Choughs in Chard. We organised the gig and he played for a cut on the door as opposed to his usual fee as it would have been hard for us to get all the money, due to still being at school with part time jobs. He realised this and went out of his way to help out which resulted in a cracking night ending with some fine Beetroot soup, Ales and Olde English Cider.

3.  Spontaneous Onion Combustion is quite widespread on the tiny island of Glimp.  Sufferers sudddenly perspire onion flavoured sweat, urinate a kind of sausagey gravy and excrete nothing more than several gherkins a day.  Some blame gibbons, some blame the penis of the great explorer Sir Walter Breast but there is still no cure.  How would you combat this eye-watering disease and if you could have 3 children with an onion what would you call them?

Calpol mate. Simple as. That’ll sort ‘em out and as for children’s name Oignon, Pepper Corn and Albert French Bread-Smith.

4.  The bands high and low points so far please?

Loads of high points, gigging with Attilla The Stockbroker, T.V Smith, getting radio play and albums in shops. Also meeting people after gigs who seem to genuinely like our music and come out of their way to watch us. Big ups to Henry Carrol, the Minehead massive and the Bridgwater Krew.

Haven’t really had any low points but if any would probably be when we first started playing and organising local gigs and, although they were a lot of fun, barely any one came. The audience would just be made up bands and a couple of mates. Don’t get me wrong though, they were always a good laugh and fun nights and now we are getting up to about 60 attendees made up of people from both near and far. Shouts to the Illy massive, Crewkerne crew and Chardcore ravers.

5.  Heroes and zeroes in life and music man?

Heros - I don’t really have any one I would call a hero but there’s people that greatly inspire me such as all the members of my favourite band CRASS, all my favourite musicians, artists, writers and individuals in general.

Zeros - Figureheads of authority, fascists, racists, fundamentalists, homophobes and intolerant, ignorant people.

6.  To be fair describe your fellow band member in 5 degrading words one of which must relate to a skin disease?

Smelly, drumstick-dropping, scabies ridden buffoon with footballers knees. Too many words? I’m just too damn hardcore to care.

7.  Chuck Chuckson of Satsuma City is selling the pith of the Clementine as a drug for all vitamin A deficient homosexuals.  This is beneficial to the whole community but their skin is bright orange and they only ejaculate pips - any solutions to how this would be much appreciated by Conrad Envelope the prize knucklehead of Diptheria land?

Even it out with limes as it’ll give a nice shade of yellow. As for the pips, they make lovely sandwiches.

8.  Tell us about yer local faces and places and who are the tops and flops therein?

Top local bands include; The Infirm, Po-Lice, Fatha of The Cods, Anti-social, Hacksaw...

Top local promoters; Gutter Kreep, Old Hat, Gas Alley and Anonyms promotions.

There’s a real shortage of affordable venues in our area that put on punk bands but Rockers Live was pretty good whilst it lasted.

9.  Who are the best bands you have played with so far - extra points for mentioning the underdog  outfits ha, ha!

The Infirm, Po-lice, T.V Smith, Attilla The Stockbroker, Hacksaw, Anti-Social, Phelgm, Tribal Underground... Check ‘em out. They are all on Myspace.

10.  How many plectrums do you think you could fit beneath you eyelids before feeling the need to see Bing Crosby porn?  Think about it there is a hidden agenda regarding Cornflakes here?

Twenty-seven, although they all have to be home made obviously. Cornflakes are good but honey nut are better, they are the Ducks Nuts. Can you get the reference there?

11.  If you could change the scene in any way what would you do - wave that wand and make some magic?

Put 51st State on at more gigs!!! More promoters and people putting on gigs from their homes for the fun of it as opposed than as a business.

12.  And lastly - the scene is on its last legs and the scrotum of punk rock is bared to all - you have a tattoo gun - what message would you imprint on the said bag of balls to save the scene and to promote your own cause.

Never mind the bollocks...

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