1. Medicine Bow and Dangerous Aces - please tell us all?

All? Pray not, for there is far more than enough to tell. The ‘Bow have been flying in the face of fashion, rhyme, reason & removal machines of love for many a blue moon. Almost heralding the age of Aquarius since the year 2000 I have vainly flogged my folly, by golly Miss Molly, with a cast of cunts that makes the bible look like a virginal monologue until the bedraggled bunch of dilapidated dandies that we are today sat down & did knock knitting needles and knackered knees together. I’ll bypass the first four years, which was basically me & a drummer (Dino’s much-loathed cousin, who, & let this bear absolutely no reflection on El D’s mental capacities, wanted to call us Canvas) with a revolving door of at least 9 bassists & a couple of guitarists, one of whom  stayed around in the role of twat / genius & can be heard on some recordings…(the last ones we actually did, a lamentably laughable five years ago, with a strange bearded Christian metaller). Yup, take a bow El Prannadito.

Even though we did win both worst gig ever & most hedonistic band in that well-appointed taste-flavourer manchestermusic.co.uk by the time of 2004 I’d been scouting around for new members & after a particularly disastrous trip to London fucked it off & decided that twiddling my thumbs to stumps would be far better than dealing with a moronic guitarist who advised me to send a demo to Fierce Panda as they signed Coldplay. Now, please yawn – guitarist Stew answered an ad as a bassist. I met Sam one night & asked if he played the drums, ‘nay burrah play bass, like’, slurred Sam, stifling a demonic laugh, so we thusly decided it was time to unleash in Stew the inner Fast Eddie Clarke & pulling a guitar from a rock there was thunder & lightning & we then had the power, which we then put to use at our inaugural gig on 5th April 2005. Max of infamous FictionNonFiction night had kindly given me a solo spot to get out playing again, so we valiantly dashed off a rehearsal the Sunday before, where we Sam ‘n’ Stew met for the first time. Armed with Stew’s drum machine we played some sort of set, more Dr Armless than Dr Avalanche. Since then we’ve gone from trapped nerve to pulled muscle, gathered a drummer – the Lesbian Vampire Lover that is the Jumble Sale Jimi James experience, Matt Gizmo-DangerAce on harmonica & banjo (in due course) & drums when Jumble Sale Jimi can’t make it (which is often, man) & Catherine, our very own country cowgirl from Idaho who bravely adds some harmony vocals amidst our sinking-ship a-hollering. You may hear about the notorious ‘Curse Of The Bow’ (arrrgh) & ‘The Strictures Of ‘Bow Time’ in due course. We also just discovered via the all seeing eye that is ebay that there was a band called The Medicine Bow in 1970, they were, apparently, the hottest band on the UK country scene, sported Ron Jeremy tasches & were from Plymouth. So fuck Vegas, I think the South East calls.

Les Aces D’Angereuses – The fruition of Mozza’s drunken dreams in The Salisbury when me & El D first met him. He used to have an imaginary band comprised of various people in there, many of whom I can’t remember but the drummer was going to be the miserable flower seller. Then we got together to do some pissed-punk piss poor comedy stuff to have a laugh then after writing a few songs thought hey this could be good. As Mozz said I thought it’d be just grand to play something harder, if not heartier, & rescue excess riffs from the old ‘Bow song scrapheap. Truth be told, up against ‘Ace Frehley Is The President Of South Africa’, ‘Lesbian Alsatians’, ‘VC In The Back Of A Taxi’, ‘Demented Are Melting’ and some song about cheese there maybe wasn’t much competition. With that in mind The Gents, as we were then to be known as, recruited what is regularly known as a drummer. But we managed to get, an utter fucking moron who ceased to be even faintly amusing after 5 seconds of having explained stuff to him, on the understanding that yes he could play drums, only for him to go sashaying off like a village idiot on date rape drugs. Credit to him tho. He did pause a conversation one night, post-‘practise’ to pose the question ‘you don’t like me much do you’. To the answer ‘no’ He then proceeded with his pointless prattle. Actually put him on the hero sheet. Turd. Yup, as the others attest, we then heard of Matt, who was a bassist but wanted to play drums, got him down & as they say in muso parlance, it all clicked.

2. Is there any difficulty playing in 2 bands and could you describe all band members in 5 degrading words each?

What could be worse is having a drummer in 2 bands. The Bow’s Jim Jam Julie Oolie also plays in a really heinous hard rock band called Bedrash. Due to geography The ‘Bow could realistically apply for permission to register themselves as a comet & just appear once every few aeons.

I honestly couldn’t - we all get on like the attendees of a San Francisco bath-house. Usually.
Oh here goes – Mozz – Sex tourist, Eccles to Estonia
                         Dino - ?

3. Farmyard porn enthusiast Mozz 'o' Duckchuff apparently is having an affair with a combined harvester. Fair do's I suppose but he left the tractor lover he had in the lurch without any warning whatsoever. Has Moz lost the tractor factor and would you have an affair with any farmyard machinery?

Farmyard as well? Blimey, there’s no stopping him once he’s got that gimp suit on & has a ferry ticket in his hand, is there? There’s a lot under that rational exterior. Don’t feel sorry for Scooter though, I heard he’s off out with a dumper truck. As the fame of The Aces spreads there have been worries expressed that Mozz may well lose the tractor factor and embark on a lust for those in traction, possibly caused by a slight hearing problem due to the decibel level while out harvesting this seasons favoured combinations. Watch out for any spontaneous acts of stage-diving or wrecking. It may be part of a devious plan. Or maybe Dino could brain them, then when the unwitting victim feels secure in hospital Doctor Mozz dons his rubber doctors outfit & operates.
But me? I certainly wouldn’t ride in a tractor that had firstly been softened by Mozza’s behind, or any part of him. Do ducks constitute farmyard machinery?

4. Best gigs to date and worst please (with both bands)?

Hmmm, best gig perhaps Bow-legged style coulda been supporting Th’ Legendary Shack Shakers last year, marred slightly by the fact the cunts ignored us this year for not being psychobilly enough. When they first played here they’d never even heard of psychobilly. So they can kiss my rural rectum. They are damn good though.
Playing with Kid Voodoo & Dan Sartain last year was damn good too, thanks also to Night n’ Day lady excellent engineering, & The Vipers Club Carabal night at The Bowling Green last August was great too. Especially as we hadn’t seen each other, never mind rehearsed, for nearly 4 months. Beat that Danny Ace!

Mozz’s Gay Punk Day at The Retro Bar, summer 2004. I agreed The ‘Bow would fill in and, as is usual in the end that amounted to me & the guitar player, Stevie Bee, who played country tonic on guitar & harp inbetween the hardcore swivel. We went down so well we treated them to the same Hank Williams song about three times.
Supporting Kings of Nuthin’ last year was pretty good. When we persuaded Catherine to sing with us at New Year & January Voodoo was pretty great too. Ye can tell she’s been taking pointers from us. It’s good to see     
            Worst? – Oooh la la. 31st May 2001. During first bands set, the then bassist started a fight with his mate about some girl, in very impressively surreal Crouching Dragons style slow motion flying. During set, Stu breaks two strings with, literally, first chord, trashes guitar after second song then has to charm other band to lend me their guitar. Which was a Strat so we did the rest of the set without my guitar. Bit of a bummer seeing as the drummer followed me in his monitor, as opposed to actually setting the rhythm himself. He claimed it made us unique. No. It made us shite.
Oldham Castle – September 2001 (I think). A very drunk me & a very stoned guitarist Beckett inform drummer as we go on that we’ve been working on covering Leonard Cohen’s ‘Famous Blue Raincoat’ as an opening gambit. This doesn’t go down too well with drummer. During start of second song, tiny guitar player gets in my way, Stu falls through drumkit, stopping the set in full flow. GoldBlade’s then manager was there, informs me at a later date, he was confused. Also told later that this gig inspired Ed & Jaz to form the Strap-Ons, who are now thankfully Black Fiction, so maybe there’s some skewed karma there somewhere.
Oh, then one at Night & Day in March 2000 I think where possibly the first, no, second bassist we had ended up having a screeching row with the drummer who completely lost it in a haze of utter gibberish, played all the songs half-speed. Twas the ultimate in dying a long slow death, & is recounted in more detail in Headpress’s Gigs From Hell book, so, as I’m sure all & sundry have that book, you can refer to that!
The gig in Wigan with Thee Exit Wounds & Kid Voodoo in July 2003 perhaps too, tho’ I can’t really remember it so maybe that doesn’t count. Poor Fido from Kid Voodoo valiantly filled in on the drum stool, but I couldn’t even remember how my own songs went & he had to point out, what I guess, is rather vital information.
Yup, all in all there’s been quite a few bad ones, I’ll stop there else it might get embarrassing, eh? Ha ha. Alcohol consumption trebled by a shit drummer, even when sober, is not a good mix.

Danger-style? Best – supporting Demented Arse Flow when Matt shouted, ‘What’s up you fat fucking psychobilles? Don’t you fucking like us or something?’ The answer was clearly in the question but it was good.
We played pretty good the other week at The Squalor, also at The Castle we play well. Must be something in the water. As much as I do enjoy playing FictionNonFiction (where else do you get wine, beer ‘n’butties – beat that David Coverdale) we always play shit there. Or we seem to, I hear otherwise, but it seems like we do. Maybe that’s cos we always go on at about midnight.
Matt Gizmo’s birthday bash last year. Great day but had major cramp in left arm. Yup, I am  proud country pussy who gets cramp playing too fast. Scooter blamed my shirt. Maybe that was just Scoot having a bad hair day.
But the Supersuckers gig in February really takes the cake & pisses all over it. Talk about punk rock…they move us to a tiny side of what’s already a tiny stage – The Roadhouse – then refuse to lend Matt, who’d come straight from work after we had an hour from knowing about the gig after The Grit pulled out, any drumsticks & all but shooed us away like big stars when we tried to ask them. Knobrot on the lot of them.

5. Heroes and zeroes in life and what are the best and worst things about the music scene today?

Heroes? Ooooh. Mike Scott; Keith Richards; Keith Floyd; Josey Wales; Robin Hood; Julian Cope; Izzy Stradlin’; Phil Lynott; The Barstad; Nikki Sudden; Sleazegrinder; Larushka Ivan-Zadeh; My bands, or should I say to avoid Charlie Watts vs Mick Jagger scenarios, the bands I play in – Matt ‘Mo DangerAce, Mozza, El Dino, Boogie Stew, Don Sam O’Hoe; Captain Jimbalaya James, Catherine ‘Belle Of The Bow’ – Kid Voodoo are pretty heroic too as are Max ‘n’ Lee FnF…My shoes & coats too…Hang M High Western Wear…

Zeroes I don’t really consider. Not enuff time to bother with such trifles except to visualise a really agonising death for them voodoo style. Manchester City Council for one.

Music locally is second to none now. Far & away stronger than it’s ever been, what with yourselves, That’s Not Skanking & FictionNonFiction which is great as we’re all able to dip into & out of it & they put on such an eclectic mix of stuff from utter shite that they’ve just given a chance where others wouldn’t, to great things, interesting things, boring things, & utter shite that just shouldn’t be there as it’s derivative indie shite. Corrupted out in Blackburn too, have been putting punk metal & stuff on for the last year. There’s a great core of bands that help each other out, & that isn’t some bullshit exclusive clique. There was a danger of that at one point but that just naturally shat off. Also with The Thatched House, The Squalor, a whole new little underground has come about. I remember before I knew them, always seeing Kid Voodoo’s name around & thinking how them & The ‘Bow were about the only bands that were constant, it seems back then it was reaaaally hard to find somewhere to play, other than being put on the shitty 4 mixed band local bills at Roadhouse & Night & Day.
Worst is that those places of course still exist, The Exorsisters keep playing them in Manchester at The Dry Bar & Music Box. Good experience in a way but not very constructive. At least some places try & sort something out, especially for travelling bands.

6. Give us a brief insight into your motivations and musical career so far?

Right now? For us to finish our mixing we’ve been doing with Jaz Fiction & stick something out, at looooooong last. Which according to ‘The Strictures Of Bow Time’ could be anytime until the next flood, but hopefully for the summer. The rekkid - not the flood. And to keep on my ever intended path of being a musical home for waifs and strays. One day we will become a warped Western Swing band, perhaps when Matt Gizmo learns the fiddle.
In general, I always just wanted to play, but I guess also done my way. I hated playing in bands years ago with some fuckwit who I felt was just playing at it. I always wanted to have my own band, & spent years fart-arsing about with muppets being very frustrated, just so that if it fails or fucks up in whatever way it can’t be blamed on anyone else & to know I gave it my best shot & enjoyed it. It used to really rile me, but now just makes me laugh at all the bands that come & go, with thousands of pounds worth of gear, play three gigs, two at Night & Day - the first, all their mates & relatives came so they get paid, thus they book another gig 4 weeks later, no-one comes, they get no money so they try one last attempt - one at The Roadhouse. Realising they don’t get a deal for all their hard work they give in & split up to pursue solo projects in Chester, while re-working their musical direction, and wardrobe.
Really, my whole motivation stems from a love of it all. I love tossing about dragging shit across town, being ignored by cab drivers, waiting around for hours, pushing cars along sideroads in Blackburn dressed to the 99’s, then playing. In a hip-hop bar. The whole lot.  
Initially, from being young, I guess from wanting to be like Izzy in the GN’R Live At The New York Ritz 1988 film or, well, basically Keef, fannying about in ridiculous shirtage & coats with some big curvy guitars…oh & some songs. Whilst at the same time imagining your gonna be some Eldritch-type sardonic poet. One & the same really, it all involves whisky. I used to piss my sides at my Dad’s Creedence & even Stones stuff (I still laugh at Don Williams though) but through the almighty Dogs D’Amour (as opposed to The Almighty, not quite one & the same) I always had a notion of playing country-ish noisy rock’n’roll, that I did term Boogie Trash & have just seen a German band calling their style that, incidentally. Whilst I got into country stuff in a big way from age about 18 I then figured why not play punk & country. This seemed to confuse people along the way but, of course, it’s not anything remotely new. Tis jolly good japes though. Ha ha as a footnote, guitarist Boogie Stew’s brother overheard someone on a train talking about The ‘Bow. They’d seen us support the chicken shaggers & dismissed us with ‘yeah but country-punk’s just trendy now…’  That, of course, could be the key to my motivations, natch.

7. The Cow Throwing Olympics are nearly upon us and the whole farming fraternity is chomping at the bit to see this prestigious event. Are you going and are you involved in any of the events? I am in for the Cow Pat Kung Fu event but am drawn against last years winners Hamish McFaeces. Tough draw but I'll have a go?

Maybe, does it clash with Strummercamp. I can think of a few people that could have cow parts thrown at them & I aren’t talking about Alice Cooper.
I wonder what bit of the farming fraternity Mozz’s chomping on, eh? Yup enter me for the live calf-birthing, I don’t fancy the toss the calver event much.
We were contacted last year, till our message board got all spammed out, by a guy who grew up in real-life Medicine Bow, Wyoming. He told a tale of elk-hunting, a tad disturbing. But there could be a side event, of elks vs cows. I think that would get certain farmyarders chafing their bits.

8. Tell us the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you in your life?

Not sure. I don’t embarrass easy. I mean have you SEEN the picture of me on the Sleazegrinder site?! (just to show I really have no shame, here’ tis, looking very much like the reflection in a distorted mirror, ah well http://www.sleazegrinder.com/teensleaze_stuclub17.htm ). But the other week I went for lunch with my mam. The waitress lass came & slopped some plonk in the glass for me to ponce over & swill about like a prick…but I managed to tip my head back as the glass was really tall & thin & spilt wine all over myself. Nice. I mean, it’s not gonna scar me for life, or anything but I felt a little bit silly.
Almost shitting myself after getting my ears pierced COULD have been pretty embarrassing. Stumbling around Camden like a dying junkie, maaaaan, trying to explain to my then girlfriend as she kept asking if I was going to be sick. No, I’m going to shit myself m’dear. I aren’t being a wuss either, they’re quite chunky pieces of silver to have done in one go & when the lass who did it showed me the bit of my ear then my stomach kinda flopped.

9. Best gig you have ever attended - who, where and why?

Th’ Legendary Shack*Shakers – April ’05. Mesmerising, even with mumps.
The Waterboys – Bridgewater Hall, January 2006 & October 2004. Might also be full of born again Christian types but tis utterly joyful, triumphant & tearful.
Tyla – Wolverhampton sometime in 1997, wonderful acoustic gig.

10. As are musician what are your personal aims and ambitions?

Right about now, I wanna go & play in Vegas, & Atlanta & support the remnants of The Georgia Satellites. When we get a CD done we’ve still got to get to Latvia as well. Mozz went on one of his ‘weekends’ & it’d be great to get a tour T-shirt made up with our usual glut of gigs in The Squalor & Tiger Lounge interspersed with Latvia. Kinda to carry on doing what we’re doing now, but, especially in the Bow’s case, be a little bit more active! Get out & play in Europe is one for the near future, long-term have some Gretsches, learn the mandolin more, sing better, or well, sing something like, play & write more, have more time, & to keep sailing the Good Ship Bow round capes of good riddance & most importantly to keep making the music go BOIIIING!
I also have to go to Medicine Bow, Wyoming & gain honorary membership of the Medicine Bow Nordic Ski Patrol too (google it!). Imagine, t’would be a ceremony like Elvis getting his FBI badge.  

11. Ben Scab of the Scabs has a new website called Filing Cabinet Filth. Basically its photos of naked people compressed within the said filing cabinets. I'm a bit of a cabinet man myself but wouldn't go this far. What item of office furniture arouses your desires and would you ever dress up as ex-Antiques roadshow frontman Arthur Negus?

I probably have dressed up as him unwittingly, quite possibly several times. Not being one for carnal claustrophobia but hole-punches always sounded good.

12. Finally push your bands and tell us why we should come and see them?

The Medicine Bow – In a fit of modesty I’m gonna leave that to Mr Sleazegrinder – ‘Country music for orphans & exiles, Rock’n’Roll for the lost & lonely with big ideas for revenge & redemption. They are the greatest band in the world for thirty seconds at a time…a kitchen sink extravaganza of bleary-eyed invention & gut-bucket Rock’n’Roll attitude. Let it all sink in like a late afternoon whiskey high & try to remember back when you were this free.’ & because every gig I sing an old Dogs song in my head that goes on about ‘getting it right this time’.
We made Danny from metallers Beecher physically sick once. A feat only Napalm Death have accomplished. Because of The Don’s occasional burst of operaticness, because it’s where old Goths go to gambol, Because the more gigs you see the more shirts you see. Because Jiminy has 8 tom toms. Because you might catch a rare appearance by Dr Danny Ace? Because everybody loved Johnny Thunders? Because it’s the Gram ‘n’ Emmylou show set to Motorhead, Because it’s a fandango of foppish piracy set to cowpunk? Because you can’t actually see anything on the youtube clips? Shall I go & watch TV now?

The Dangerous Aces – Cos despite Mozz originally wanting us to be a straight out Oi band (how much cramp would THAT give me?) we have stumbled upon a spittoon of tab ends of many different types of fagarette to become some sort of Cuntr-OI band. Matt pulls the best faces this side of Ade Edmondson.
Simply come & see ‘the worst band in Manchester’ show that that statement is a load of horse-drawn cum.

Cheers and keep at it and have fun
Thanking ye kindly.

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