FUNGALPUNK INTERVIEWS

John of

CITIZEN KEYNE

 

1.  So, it is 2017, the punk scene is booming in many parts, the socialites are loving it but, in other areas the piss is still flying in the wind - what is your take on the current scene and what are your most favoured and loathed elements?

The current punk scene is a fucking mess of nostalgia/new sceners and of course politics. What happened to the days when punk was about an attitude and not about who knows who, points scoring and the destruction of anyone or anything that doesn't sit with certain elements ideals and opinions? The whole point of punk was to have an opinion of your own and not follow the pack, sadly the pack has got bigger and the opinions smaller. Those that oppose are shot down and those that like to think they oppose don't have the bollocks to stand their ground when called upon, scared they may upset the chosen few. There is a "them and us" element in the scene which given the ethics of punk is quite frankly embarrassing.  I enjoy the fact that at gigs there is a young element keeping the flame burning thanks to the music being handed down from their parents which kind of shows the importance of the genre after all these years, but I have been thrown out of many a Primark for destroying their displays of Ramones and Sex Pistols t shirts. As a long forgotten band once said "Punk Not Fashion".

2.  Your band squire - let us clear the air and see how much you care - where are you at and why?

Well given the shit we have had as a band it would be easy for us to call it day and walk away, however that won’t happen, let the bastards win and you are admitting that you had something to hide in the first place. We are happy to be hated for what we are but certainly not for what we ain’t.  The other option for me is to use social media to denounce anything that the antagonists deem to be "dodgy" about the band or myself, well fuck that... we know who we are and have clear consciences I have never justified anything to anyone and I won’t be starting anytime soon. I realise that such refusals to conform have a knock on effect on the band getting gigs or being accepted BUT at least I know we are being true to ourselves, we would rather play to handful of genuine people than 10k cunts without a mind of their own. We have a great following especially in the North and I am sure they wouldn't have us any other way. As you know we will never play Rebe££ion,  let’s face it we will never be asked anyway thanks to the idiots but I received a lot of photos from this year’s event of people in CK t shirts which tells you something, I also had to laugh at the irony of so many of the merchandise stands happily selling CK cd's ������ ... as Bob Geldof once said " give us your fucking money" strange how the smell of pound notes suddenly becomes more important than the "morals" these fucking halfwits had. I think we are passed being angry, we now found their hypocrisy and stupidity quite amusing and it gives me something to write about eh! As a band we are still treading the tarmac, not as often as we would like and you know why, but while I have something to fight back against there will always be a CK.

3.  The internet - good or bad for punk?

50/50 really mate. It’s a superb tool for getting bands heard and you can reach a massive audience very quickly but on the downside it has created a split. As quickly as a band can become loved it can also be hated equally as quickly. In fairness it’s not the internet that causes problems it’s the warriors that use it. There is an easy solution for this and that is to speak to people, listen to the bands and make your own mind up based on fact instead of listening to some vest wearing dribble covered cock-womble telling you things he thinks he knows.

4.  Wanking weebles - wobble the nobble but they won't fall down?  How many weebles do you think you could get up your jacksie and would it be a good publicity stunt to get your band noted?

Well I can fit Darren’s head up my arse and given he is but a wee fella I would say that's the equivalent of around 25 weebles, publicity stunt??? Fuck that it is just a pure pleasure thing. Also they don't fall down which is true, but they do smash into a hundred pieces if you hit them hard enough with a wooden replica of an erect elephant penis lovingly carved by a one eyed Goth with nothing but a sharpened anal plug.

5.  Nazi shit flingers - they are a cute breed who seem to throw stones with no facts?  Your thoughts but please let me put on a good crash helmet first - this could be brutal?

Well now there's a question and one I am quite the expert on ! I am going to bullet point some facts, yes facts, the very thing they don't seek out before the accusations begin.

  • Cunt number one tells cunt number 2 that band X are a Nazi band because one of them went on a school trip to Germany, Cunt 2 then post it on the internet for Cunt 3 - 5000 to read and obviously because it’s on the internet in the minds of Cunts 1-500 it simply must be true. Along the way other "facts" are added to the story and Cunts 5000 - 10000 also believe it. Example for you, on my arm I have a tattoo of a number 18 to signify the fact my daughter was born on the 18th. Suddenly a photo of me on stage appeared showing said tattoo with a "factual" explanation that it was in fact a tribute to Hitler as his initials are the 1st and 8th letter of the alphabet. I was actually asked by possibly the leader of the Cunts that in order to dispel this myth I should post a photograph of my daughter’s birth certificate on line to prove my "innocence" as you can imagine my response ended in the word "off". I went on to ask what ridiculous theory they had for the number 26 on my other arm (yep my second daughter was born on the 26th) and strangely I received no response...
  • You say they have no facts, the scary part is they BELEIVE their own lies and in their minds this becomes the facts, evidence is not required when you have no one directly questioning you because the rest of the Cuntage (my name for a group of Cunts) dribble over your every word.
  • The really frustrating part of it all is the so called big bands in the scene who having known you many years and have played gigs with you on many occasions who, for fear of being tarnished with the same brush, decide to ignore you and deny your existence or even knowing you. Two bands spring to mind who have actually done this to CK despite us being "thanked "in their CD notes and me being in one of their videos, if you are reading this then you know who you are and can I take this opportunity to congratulate you on being two faced cowardly wankers and, for the record, where did it get you, cause I don't see you taking the scene by storm or flying up the ranks at Cashbellion.
  • They sling their shit from behind a keyboard and using false accounts to try and intimidate people. I have on many occasions suggested that they come to a gig watch the band and sit down with me for an adult discussion to sort it out one way or another, not once has any of them taken me up on that offer which tells you a lot about their credibility in my book, plus we as a band have NEVER been hard to find, our gigs are advertised for all to see and the venue is visible to all, if they have a problem then come find us, we ain’t hard to find.
  • We and many other bands continue to fight the Nazi accusations that are aimed at us,  their silly little brainwashed minds cannot see the logic that if we were a Nazi band why the fuck would we get defensive when people call us it ? Fucking idiots
  • As you know Dave this has been a thorn in my side for many years now so I apologise for ranting on about it but to be hated for something you ain’t boils my piss ! 

 6.  Festival fever - is this a good thing or are we at a social club stage with everyone skipping about smiling and supping but nothing being said or done?

Well there are different types of festival. There is that big pantomime of Punk by the sea where hoards descend upon it, erections in hand because they are going to bands playing 40 year old songs then fuck off to the bar or out for a fag when new bands are playing. I fully accept for the newer bands there is a kind of trophy attached to being asked to play and good luck to them for doing it but 99% of them believe it’s the holy grail that will catapult them into the Punk superstar bracket until they get there and realise they are playing a 1.15pm slot in a back room to 15 people because a "big band" are playing in the main arena. It’s a shame and it sounds like I am bitter, I'm not I am just realistic.

Then we have the kind of festival that you put on which has up to 20 bands playing, is £5 a ticket and will give people the opportunity to seek out bands they have not heard before and who knows maybe discover the new Cock Sparrer, but alas the apathy in the scene means few people bother to attend, this is what is killing the scene and I don't know how we can change that. Perhaps if the big boys helped by giving unknowns a chance at some of their gigs it would help but as most of them are simply going through the motions to bulk the bank accounts it’s not going to happen.

Is Punk dead? No definitely not but it is on life support.

7.  Your biggest mistake in life mate, your biggest achievement and your greatest wish that still hasn't been granted?

My biggest mistake was not listening to my heart and listening to people who thought they knew what was best for me, who knows what I could be doing now had I decided for myself instead of letting others decide for me.

My biggest achievement is without a doubt my children... nuff said

My greatest wish? I suppose I should say something like World Peace or an end to famine or some other Miss World clichéd bullshit but I actually just wish that people who make toasters would actually make them with a slot big enough for standard slice of fucking bread!

8.  What are your 3 favoured sub-genres of the punk scene (and why)?

Oi!- because its hard hitting, honest and speaks its mind.

Underdog Punk - because it’s got all the ingredients that punk was about, DIY, passion and loyalty.

Hardcore - I love the cross of punk and metal and the way it combines to make a refreshing noise.  

9.  Mastodon McGuff is a fuckwit but he has lots of money and social influence and he likes making love to planets.  If you could make love to a planet which one would it be and why, and also would you suck the balls of Yuro Gagarin for a place on the quiz show 'Mr and Mrs' (with Derek Batey).

Ha, ha, ha, ha - what on earth goes on in that shroom head of yours Dave !

Ok I would stick my light sabre in Uranus, no further explanation needed really I don't think.

I would happily suck the plumbs of the great Gagarin and save the seed in my cheeks like an excited hamster so that I can spray it like a whale hole all over Derek’s M&S suit and acrylic tie. On a separate note how dare you assume my gender by thinking me either a Mr or a Mrs !!!! 

10.  Citizen Keyne have some stunning songs in their arsenal - what are your favourite three?

Stand Proud - I think the song says it all really and kind of backs up what I have said in previous answers.

Great To Be Me - The anthem for the idle masses who fail to see the fact it’s not a celebration of their life style but a sarcastic dig!

Weekend Riot - Having served my time on the terraces as a youth this song really does sum up the feelings of many a disgruntled youth and the seemingly long wait for the weekend and the fun to begin, It’s about that little flickering light at the end of a tunnel that we strive to reach in an otherwise mundane existence.

11.  Music and egos - can they be separated? 

They can but they shouldn't be as many bands have achieved success based on the ego of band members, Sex Pistols, GG Allin, Oasis to name three. I am sure all three would have some degree of success anyway but without the ego of Mr Rotten, GG, Noel G would they have reached the heights they did? I am not so sure, early Pistols gigs were more notorious for the antics of the band than the actual music.  GG Allin was fucking awful as a musician and Noel G takes away the focus that Oasis are actually not much more than a modern day Beatles. Ego and notoriety sells records sad but true.

12.  And finally leave us with a message to live by and a way we should conduct ourselves in this manky but pleasing musical world?  Up the underdogs hey dude!

STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN  ... EVEN IT MEANS STANDING ALONE

No-one should try to be anything but themselves, lies and fakers do get found out and then when you look in the mirror you see a cunt. Be true to yourself, be true to your ideas and support the underdogs as one day when we all bite back ... it’s your fucking faces we are going to tear off

STAND PROUD!