D, Guy, Tamsyn and Lynn of

The Johnnie Squizzercow Experiment


1. Fuck, The Johnnie Squizzercrow Experiment are good but are sorely overlooked.  Let us address this problem - give us an intro and brief history please and where the fuck did the name come from?

(Received Pronunciation twat voiceover) Blending elements of punk, reggae and dub with a dash of funk, a splash of celticy folk, all served up with lashings of attitude The Johnnie Squizzercrow Experiment are hard to pin down, but are nevertheless a delight to experience.

Guy: Fuck me, I hate having to write "coo-eee, look at me, over here, ain't I a member of a magnificent specimen of a band" twaddle and that's just plain embarrassing but hey, I've been told I need to do more of the marketing shite and so I've had a go and failed miserably.

Been around a bit now - though we've had a few line-up changes, breaks and shifts in the shape of the noise we make. Me and Lynn have been the constant, we play, we let t'others take that where they will. We're enjoying ourselves, doing what we feel, and on our terms. People seem like what we dish up and, nicely, bonus!

The name? Long before Zebedee had done his thing and hot on the heels of a heated debate with some geezer from a punk covers band (how does that work, but that's a different question) about the obvious problem with naming a band after a song we wanted something which had a word that even mispelt would be unique in the google age . You ever come across black squirrels? They're invading the UK and displacing the greys who are still displacing the reds - I'm seeing that as an intro to an episode of Soap or worth �350M a week to the NHS. Anyway, mate of mine and I were arguing, in that way you do when normality has been temporarily suspended, as to who would win - a black squirrel or a crow. The debate inevitably fizzled out into a 0-0 bore but from it emerged Squizzercrow. The rest of the words just sort of fitted round Squizzercrow quite snugly - although in the interests of us ever appearing on a flyer anywhere we quickly dropped the "Al Showband"

2.  Where, if you could, would you categorise yourselves and what are your short and long term aims?

Guy: We're your local friendly musical Adams family. In terms of aims I just wanna make "you are full of shit! goodnight!" an instinctive thing.

Lynn:  Long term aim: To live past September the 23rd. 

Tamsyn: Don't put us in a fucking box. Aims? What's the point, that's the future, live now.


3.  What is the bands biggest achievement to date and, just for balance, failure?

Guy: We are, both counts.

Tamsyn: Biggest achievement is we have so many songs, biggest failure is me.

Lynn: Our biggest achievement is still being here and our biggest failure is that it’s taken 4 singers and 4 guitarists to do it.

Guy: I'd disagree with that. They've each bought something wonderful but different to the table and contributed to a fun journey.

4.  What one song encapsulates the JSE sound and what song is the one you would use as a promotional tool?

Guy: I'm gonna go for two cos we're musically contrary - we like to dangle our ying once our yang has been so cruelly exposed. In the reggaey corner we'd have ‘Foodbank Robbery’, laid back and oozing with attitude. In the punky corner we'd have ‘Fuck Off’. I’ts just one 97 second fuck off delightfully twee and bouncy joyful noise thing underpinning an anti fracking message or two - a pure delight to play!

Lynn: Really? You want me to choose?

Tamsyn: Promotional tool? Which one is the one people dislike the most?

5.  Custard flavoured Asians vs Jam Tart Australians in a rectal egg busting competition using only ones ringpiece and a pair of netted underpants as weaponry.  Who would win, why and are brown eggs evil?

Lynn:  I won’t even try to answer that one... but if I have to, my money would be on an egg-laying Donald Trump.

Guy: I thought it was blue eggs that were evil?

Tamsyn: Nettles and festival toilets, what do they call em, self-composting toilets. Fuck fracking, they're talking shit so we will.

6.  As a promoter I like to mix and match flavours and do my bit to cripple flat-line listening.  I like eclectic mixes and as a result am curious to know what thy own tastes are in - music, literature and life?

D: Literature - Fiction - Irvine Welsh, - Non fiction - Bill Gunston - Merlin Blencowe - also partial to biographies of Stalin, and enjoy a good map.

Lynn: JSE are as eclectic as they come. So we'd have no problem filling your life with just JSE songs and nothing else. You only have to listen to the new EP. 4 songs ... All different, but decidedly Squizzercrow.

Guy: Love being transported to different places, having colour added to the past or suggestions of a future state. Life's too precious to waste in the reality :-) Music is everything from opera through metal but to single out a few specific and obvious influences you looking to suck out of us then I guess I'd have to go for PIL (with Wobble and Levene), the Stooges, The Au Pairs, The Ruts and Julian Cope.

Tamsyn: Music is good yeah, we like it, literature not so much but life’s better than it all, go on, that’s it.

7.  I had an argument with a dwarf the other day, a right know-it-all short arse he was.  Anyway I was getting the upper hand in the war of words when he punched me in the globes, said he knew before me that your band was releasing an EP and then fucked off into the night.  The pain in the knackers was bad and I couldn't give chase but what shocked me more was that this undersized bastard knew about this release of yours.  Please tell me it’s not true and if it is in fact genuine then I suppose you best promote it?

Guy: Soz - We specifically told the fucker to avoid non-essential post gloating violence. Last time we use that agency - it had a tang of small time despite the competitive rates, knock off perfume and attractive fur coat.

But yeah, new EP ‘A Beauty Pageant for the Morally Ugly’ which is available from all the usual downloady places as well as our preferred DIY route from August 10th. Bandcamp also has the original artwork - the digital distributor people refused to publish until we changed the artwork – ha, ha, we been censored!  We like it, we hope others do too.

8.  What is your local scene like and where are the best places you have played?

Tamsyn: What local scene? There's only PAC and that's in Clayton (le Moors)

Lynn:  The local scene is generally grey and rainy. When it’s not rainy, it’s usually snowy or even haily. Therefore the best places we play are inside ... which is usually the studio in Accrington on a Tuesday or Wednesday evening and occasionally on a Sunday when we can persuade Tamsyn to remove herself from lying in front of the Fracking lorries.

Guy: Locally? The Forts in Clayton is a proper venue.

9.  Do you have any gripes about out internet run music scene and does it make for a good and prosperous situation?

Lynn: My only gripe is that it might cause me to have to do some work. But our ethos of "Like us, Don't like us, Whatever..." means that so far I've managed to avoid doing any.

Guy: Does it fuck, you can try to use it creatively but ultimately social media becomes ever more anti-social.

10.  Charles 'Stickle-Bricks' Eggnog has a nob made from fascist lego.  The problem is though his pecker votes labour, is a capitalist, believes in the scribblings of Karl Marx, is emblazoned with a Hitler portrait and has been known to penetrate the flimsy film of 'normality'.  What is going on here, please explain and would you leather a one-eyed man for five pounds and the sexual kick it would bring?

Tamsyn: Blah, blah sounds like politics, shut up, please

Lynn: Left eye, or right eye?

11.  The best 5 bands you have played with please, the best gaffs you have played and your favourite tipple?

Guy: One Eyed God, the Lagans, Papa Shangos, Buff and I'm gonna have to throw in Cakehead - love 'em, love the energy and the pure sanity of it all. Best gaffs? Not including fields, and we've played a lot of quality fields - would probably have to include the Kazimier with it's faded decadent charm; the 1 in 12 which just oozes with character and the Station, not just for the venue, but for the whole atmosphere Pauline has draped the place in. An honourable mention must go to the Forts Arms in Clayton le Moors - they've made a top venue there and always a bazzing crowd. Whiskey.

Tamsyn: One Eyed God, The Lagans, The Lab Rats and that's like nearly five. Spiced Rum and pineapple, Cider made with Apples


1. The Beatles at Wembley

2. The Who at Wembley

3. The Rolling Stones at Wembley

4. The Sex Pistols at the BBC

5. The Wombles on Wimbledon Common

Sorry...<hic>... What was the question <hic>. again? Oh, and you can get me another bottle of Baileys whilst you're at it.

12.  Finally tattoo my buttocks with JSE propaganda, let us all know what is happening and where we should be and, most importantly, why we should give you the time of day?

Guy: Why would you give us the time of day? Why not? We do what we do and if folk like it then that's cool, if they don't, whatever. You can always find out where we might coincide at

Lynn: Firstly, do you have a fat enough a*se?

Secondly, it'll all be happening at our next concert, but you should be in bed, you naughty boy!

Tamsyn: ahh, cos we play music and you might like us