1. Dudley Dave - give us a brief account of your punk life so far and details about Global Parasite - how it started, discography etc.

Been into punk rock for about 8 or 9 years now (I'm 23 yrs old), obviously as most young uns do starting off with bands like Green Day, Offspring, then got into Nofx, Pennywise, Sick Of It All, stuff like that, then really got into street punk bands like Anti-Nowhere League and UK Subs, until I unfortunately became aware that so many of those “brand name” punk bands that are only interested in cashing in on their status and charging ridiculous amounts even at tiny venues. The last few years have found me listening to more crusty bands like Subhumans, The Restarts, Leftover Crack, Conflict but I still love my hardcore punk, Minor Threat, Sick Of It All, Madball, Good Clean Fun, Good Riddance etc. I’ve always had a place for two tone ska and reggae, like The Big, 3 Minute Warning, did you see Neville Staples at Rebellion this year? Fuckin right!!. Recently started getting into political hip hop like Immortal Technique and fast-paced live drum 'n' bass as well (there's some ridiculously good drummers out there).

Global Parasite came about from 3 friends from the same area, Colwyn Bay, who are all really into punk rock and shared the same political beliefs, agendas etc. We’ve been going for about a year, but due to me punching and breaking my hand on a wall (when I woke up in the bogs of a Snuff gig in Sheffield, and realized I’d been passed out throughout the entire gig and missed all the bands); we didn’t start gigging until the end of March this year, since then we've been busy though, w'eve managed to do 25 gigs since March 30th (7 months this weekend), and considering none of us can drive and we’ve just been scavin' lifts of people and hopping trains we've done quite well for ourselves! We recorded a 5 track demo called Feed Us War, around the same time we started gigging, with the help of our mate Al Cumipants. We’ve just recorded a new song called Smash The New World Order which will be released on a 7' inch punk compilation with 3 other welsh punk bands through Complete Control Music (a charity set up to help musicians in run down areas of Wales). We’ve begun recording our album, which due to financial restrictions will take us about 6 months to do as we can only really afford to a day of recording once every two months or so, adn we wanna make sure we get it dead on the nail from start to finish to make it the best possible album we can make it.

2. Playing drums and promoting - which do you prefer and tell us about both ventures and the pitfalls and positives of each!

Drums without a doubt, when I've had a shit day, beatin' the fuck out of the drum kit is the best thing to do, healthy way to get that aggression out, if I've had a bad day and I've gotta go an put on some bands, and make sure the sounds right (even though I'm not very good at it) and make sure everyone gets paid (even though certain people I work with are very money orientated) and hope to fuck that enough punters turn up to make sure the bands get the right amount of money I was forced to promise them in order for them to turn up in the first place… well its not recommended if your pissed off already, put it that way. But saying that, I got a fuckin' huge buzz from the Dirty Weekend this year, cos it was a complete success, probably the biggest turn out we've ever had at the Dudley. All the bands got paid, we needed something like £1380 on the door, and we got £1375). The owner was happy to dig up a fiver from his pocket to cover that, I'm sure he could afford it from all the profits he’d made over the bar all weekend, but that’s one of the things about it all, I have to haggle with him about paying the bands farely cos he can be abit ‘capitalista’ sometimes an that does my fuckin head in! On the other hand, the Dudley Arms is empty every other day of the month and its his only income so I don’t know… I’ve been putting the gigs on there for 5 years this January an I've never actually made any money from it, but I don’t care - I do it cos I love the music and I know if someone doesn’t do it it’ll die out (“be the change you want to see happen”)

3. Describe your local punk scene - the good, the bad and the ugliest person involved!

D&B promotions used to put the gigs on in Llandudno at the Westshore Club, then moved over to the Penrhyn Old Hall until it closed down due to noise complaints from a nearby caravan park (wankers). They always put on good punk nights, I'm sure loads of your readers have been there, played there and remembered them. At one point the North Wales scene was really on a high when we had the D &B nights as well as our nights in Rhyl, and sometimes nights in Bangor at the Uni. D&B are now having a break, hopefully they’ll start putting gigs on again soon. But we're still plodding on, I'm not sure what I want to do next year, we’ll see how it goes, I'm thinking about fuckin' off somewhere for a while, Asia or something I dunno.

As for the good, the bad and the ugliest person... the good; a fuckin good mate of ours Mr Johnny Williams who died last year whilst on a night out in Manchester, fuckin' legend he was. We're puttin on a memorial all dayer for him on Saturday October 27th, so please come along and lets make it a blinder for him! The bad; well we've had a certain lad who we thought was a decent person, but it turned out he was raping his 8yr old and 12yr old nephews and got sent down for it, which was a real fuckin' let down for us cos we all trusted and respected him but we were obviously wrong in our judgement. Ithink he was the ugliest as well really, probably why he did it the twat.

4. Describe your fellow band members in 4 ridiculing words apiece!

Matt: filthy minded mumbing idiot
Ste: Man? Ape?... THE BRUTE!

5. Ju Shit so - excrement based martial art where the highest belt is brown, the deadliest grip is known as the Feacal Sleeper and the main weapon is a dried turd shaped into the shape of a kettle! Would you take part and have you ever been attacked by a turd-wielding Eskimo?

Of course I’d take part, but I’d pull out my secret weapon; deadly jet-hose piss shooter, it peels the skin! No seriously, I can actually piss right the way across a road big enough to have two cars going past each other.

6. Best and worst Global Parasite gig to date (details please)?

Best gig: at the moment the local gigs have been good cos our mates get drunk and dance, but I think eventually we’ll have people dancing who don’t even know us ha ha! The Goldsborough in Bradford was good and The Thirsty Scholar in Manchester, I can't wait to get out to Holland next February.

Worst gig: We've done quite a few gigs where its taken us like 6 or 7 hours on the train to get there, then when we get there we play to about 4 people, that’s always frustrating. I don’t really wanna ‘name an shame’ the promoters though cos I understand the frustration they feel when that happens at one of their gigs, Holyhead is a fucking shithole though.

7. Best and worst turn-outs for gigs you have promoted too - again gory details?

Best turn out - Dirty Weekend 2007 (fuckin' heaving with people and bands that’d travelled from all over Britian).
Worst turn out- Assert a couple of years ago, there was hardly anyone there at all an Britt cornered me in the bogs on my own and threatened to burn the place down, I was shittin myself!

8. Things what piss you off about punk and the things that make you buzz (apart from drugs and electronic devices)?

Things that piss me off about punk are the way people whinge about how its not how it used to be, and then when you try an do something about it no one supports it. Bands that charge loads and believe they deserve it even though they sing about how there isn’t any heroes or idols in punk, but they still expect to be paid like one. Things that I buzz off are bands that are as good a quality as the big names, but they're still happy to play for petrol money and stick around afterwards to get shitfaced with ya and have a laugh.

9. Mick Mogodon once made love to a woolly mammoth using a mecanno kit, a block of Lurrpak and two public telephone boxes. This is total, utter lies but I would be interested in your answer purely for non-sexual reasons!

It's not actually a question though is it dave?!! Ermmmm yer I agree with you.

10. Global Parasites best song and what makes it so special?

We recorded a new song last Tuesday (Sept 25th) called 'Smash The New World Order', in my opinion it's up there with the best of our stuff, and I love singing it cos the issue it tackles means a lot to me. I fuckin hate the way September 11th has been used as an excuse to attack any country we (western governments) want to attack, and to justify putting cameras everywhere to watch our every move etc. Its all about control, and anyway, do you really think 19 men from caves in Afghanistan could pull that off, an have NORAD (American air defense) stand down for the first time in their 50 year history? Or have Larry Silverstein, the leaseholder of the world trade centers put a $7 billion insurance policy on the buildings specifically covering them from acts of terrorism 6 weeks before it happened, or have him publically state a year after 9/11 that he decided within a few hours of WTC 7 catching fire that they should ‘pull it’ (term for controlled demolition in that industry), controlled demolitions take months to prepare, and all 3 buildings (both towers as well as building 7) falling at free fall speed, from ‘fire-damage’, the first 3 steel columned buildings in history to fall from fire damage. I could go on an on, but it’d be better if people researched this for themselves instead of just believing me. And before anyone says something daft like ‘why does it matter?’ it matters to British people because it’s the main core behind this false War on Terror, its their foundation, the main reason behind all these war profiteers, it apparently justifies the new blood thirsty imperialism, and their using it as an excuse to carry out their sick agenda for global government and human mass-depopulation. Research for yourself, prove me wrong.

11. Peter Postage the human stamp has recently been found trapped in a postbox in a state of arousal clutching several first class packages. His desire to make love to a postmans bike may seem unhinged but have yoy seen the latest model. Wow - anally dynamic seat, padded cross bar and platinum trim wheels - the little bell is a joy. If held a gunpoint what form of bicycle would you choose for a long term relationship?

Erm it’d have to be a penny farthing!!

12. Finally - push Global Parasite for all they are worth and convince us all that they are worth the time and effort?

You can listen to some of our songs at www.myspace.com/globalparasite keep your eyes out for the album when its finished and available next year, and please come along to watch us when we get gigs near you. Ermm cos we’re really good!

 

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