Cuffi, Jupes, Ligzig and Big Red of

C. S. O. D.


1. Introduce us to your noisy self and tell us about how you came to be in the current band and what the set up is?

We are CSOD! The scourge of humanity, the fear in your minds, the dark side to everyone and everything and we came to reign pure hell upon thee! The name refers to general let downs and disappointments in life. The band has been going for about 8 years - Ligzig Rightguard (vocals) and Cuffi Love (guitar) have been the regulars with a carousel of bassists and drummers, those who weren’t hardcore enough! The current line up is completed by Our Jupes (bass) and Big Red (drums), both of whom we found on Blackpool’s lower promenade, touting for business.

2. What is the ethos behind the band and what political message are there (if any)?

Our music is about social disorder, bad times, good times, crazy times, drinking and the collapse of society as we know it. Ligzig’s lyrics relate to real-life things, shit that’s actually happens to us, and in a lot of cases our music is about the types of people and situations we’ve dealt with.
We don't feel we have any political messages in our music. Obviously we get pissed off with how hard it is to make ends meet these days. We are all from working class backgrounds so we’ve become accustomed to the shit state of things. This stuff affects each and every one of us in our working and personal lives. Sometimes those feelings will filter into CSOD from time to time. Our band is an escapism from all of this and is a life within itself, free from the constraints from society.

3. Tell us about your hometown - the vibe, the places, the problems, the inspiration and depression it causes.

Blackpool – the arse end of everywhere. Living here is like living in a failed marriage. Everything comes here to die. Once upon a time a happy family resort where people would come and enjoy such things as ice creams on the beach, donkey rides and the reasonably priced fairground attractions.

These days (he says with a sigh…), everyone comes to this town to let our their inner demon and go berserk, yet the pillars of the community will still have you believe we’re still a happy family resort. That died a long time ago. It has become the last bastion of hope for broken people with broken dreams.

Blackpool has loads of bands and there is the sense of a ‘scene’ here, albeit underground. Despite this we’ve got ONE live music venue which actively promotes original music, The Blue Room, which is a crying shame when you think about the number of bands we have here. Every other pub and club in this shithole is more concerned with putting clean cut covers bands on. And local media promotes this shit.

Rebellion Festival is a highlight of this town. The other 51 weeks of year are a pissbore.

4. Plonkpiss Clunge lives beneath the elytra of a beetle but when the beetle flies he unceremoniously pops out and has to relocate the said beast and re-jig his living quarters. The question has 2 angles:- a/ If you could live on or within and insect which one would it be, why and what advantages would you have over other insect dwelling twats and b/ Would you fly to Brazil on the back of a Hoverfly so as to deliver a love note from Joe Brown to Glistening Graham Gumption. Also what 3 line ode do you think would be in that letter?

Funny you should ask this, because we just talking about whether LigZig smells like he lives within a dung beetle mound or a tramp’s armpit. (We decided it was neither, he actually smells like he borne of a swamp being that once mated with Rocky Dennis from ‘Mask’) So our choice of insect would have to be the dung beetle! And it’d have a massive chin to knock cunts out with. If the hoverfly had the capability of housing such sights, then we’d board that bitch in no time and get the fuck out of here for sunnier climes. Probably. The note would say, erm:
Prick no meat no
Prick no meat no
Beautiful on the inside

5. They CD, book, DVD collections - the best and the worst and tell us a little about any hobbies you have - always gives us a chance to look in to what we are dealing with he, he.

Aside from music, we all have a shared interest in photocopying and the inner workings of the UK Postal Service (pre-Royal Mail). Cuffi stays out of mischief by collecting and cataloging rare species of horses heads. He is also a good tattooist and painter. Ligzig likes moaning and shouting a lot, and doesn't really like change so doesn't really have any other hobbies other than being a video-editing wizard (Check out ‘No Way Out’ Official Video – it’s online somewhere). Lig also listens to GWAR on constant loop and has dreams of being Dave Brockie. Big Red enjoys spending time with quiltarg. He’s the youngest and best looking one of the band and is at uni studying the male reproductive organ of cod. Jupes doesn’t do much productive other than pulling the legs off insects and burning them with a magnifying glass. He is also a keen sword swallower that doesn't swallow. We all have a keen interest in bands such as (insert a shit load of band names –does anyone care that much? Ok….Exodus, The Spice Girls, Iron Maiden, Elton John, Gra The Badger, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Showaddywaddy, Metallica, Deep Purple, blah blah blah blah blah blah).

6. Your chosen weapon of war, nay musical device - why this rhythm maker?

Cuffi – “Guitar. Probably because I’m the guitarst in the band. I tried learning trombone but the solos just were not the same”
Jupes – “I played with a horse once. It turned out badly for both me and the horse. They do make great weapons though, I guess that’s why the police use them.”
Big Red – “I like playing with myself”
Ligzig – “Chicken bones. Prick!”

7. The best venues you have played, the best bands you have played with and of course the worst!

This list is quite exhaustive, both good and bad!
We try to get out of town as much as possible, to meet new people and bands, and share our music with more folk. Fond memories are had of The Salisbury in Manchester who accommodated us when another gig was cancelled.
We’ve really enjoyed our appearances at the Punk4TheHomeless gigs in Skeggy, Watford and Nottingham. Eagle (Go on Eagle!) is a self-proclaimed fan of metal since watching us. The recent gig at The Black Swan in Bradford was a cracker also.
More annoying than shit venues are shit crowds and shit promoters who are too scared to get involved.

The list of the best bands we’ve played with is way too exhaustive and I don't think you’ll have enough room in your magazine if we mention them all. However, if you haven’t already, you should check out our good friends The Senton Bombs, The Dropout Wives, Laura Catlow, Vince Ripper and the Rodent Show, Born to Destruct and our new friends The Beat Holes. That’s quite an eclectic mix right there!
It would be unfair to name and shame all the shit bands around. Suffice to say, there a LOT of them!

8. The scene is split many ways, how do you feel this affects you as a band and how do you think it affects the scene as a whole?

These days too many people are into every scene just because, ya know, the scene itself is to ‘be seen’. You don't know who your fans are sometimes. We’ll play to anyone and everyone. We consider ourselves to be quite a thrash punk band bordering on metal. But since the metal scene became a load of faggots more concerned with straightening their hair before a gig and are more focused on being famous rather than being good at their chosen style, we enjoy playing to a more ‘punk’ audience because they’re like-minded. Don't get me wrong, there are still fakers and faggots within the punk scene. It waters down any scene. We need more ‘real’ bands like us that live, breathe, shit the things that we do and write songs about.

9. If you could promote a gig for the day where would it be, which 8 bands would be on and who would be on the guest list and who would be barred?

The 8 bands would be (in no particular order):
Motorhead, Metallica (circa Kill ‘Em All and Master of Puppets), GWAR, Hendrix, Sabbath, Exodus and The Senton Bombs (because we’re sure they’d do the same for us – and so we can all have a good laugh at drummer Scotty Cupcakes). The line up would be completed by us…obviously.

10. Pick an option and explain why - to have all your fingers removed and replaced by 10 variously sized cocks or to have your nose replaced with an anus and your ears replaced for two 8lb breasts?

This has already happened where Ligzig’s body and brain were removed and replaced with a giant cock. Big Red’s chin looks like two 8lb breasts.
Thinking about this with a level of seriousness, we’d probably go for the second one. You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. It’d be quite difficult to play our instruments if we had cocks for fingers, although we’d probably be a bigger hit with the ladies (“or small boys in Cuff’s case” – yeah, well done for chipping in on that one Lig!)

11. Finally push out the boat of promotion for the band - convince us this is the unit to see?

I tell thee this Dave. CSOD have a good time whenever and wherever we play. We’re all about getting smashed on rum and playing loud fast music. We enjoy recording, but our live shows are where we like to excel. Unfortunately if you don't like our band, Big Red’s gonna have to go back to the lower prom, he doesn't want that.

We’ve got a trilogy album in the making, of which Part 1 “Beginning of the End” is available now. Part 2 “Going Nowhere” is in the process of being recorded and will be available in the summer. It’s allowed us to focus on the art of songwriting and will see CSOD having a more diverse sound. We’ve always tried to write the next song better than the last song. We’re steering away from being concerned about the ‘style’ of what we write. Big Red coming on board gave us a huge advantage in songwriting and a kick up the arse with getting our shit in gear.

Of course, like every other self-promoting band, we have a Facebook page and reverbnation site where you can listen to and download our stuff. CDs are available from our live gigs or if you send a self-addressed envelope to 453 No-one Does That Shit Any More Avenue, Cocksville, UK.

We’ve got a brand new video of ‘No Way Out’ – made by our very own Ligzig Rightguard. It was only when this was finished that we all realised that there is more to him than just moaning, shouting and being a gimp.