1.   OK - Bundie man of many talents - tell us about all the bands you have been in and what your musical career has entailed so far with emphasis in particular on the very good Redneck Zombies!

I think 'talents' is a bit of an extreme discription, a quick list of the bands I've played in (Chronologically) The Handy Jack-Offs, The Short-Cuts, Hip Hop You Don't Stop and the Dopplegangers, Fubar, The Redneck Zombies, Anal Sock, Panther Burn, Punk Daddy, The Macartneys, The Roadrunners, The Hyperjax, Section 5 and The Business.

Redneck Zombies started out as a bit of a joke when me and Bevan were 19, we both liked the Misfits and the Queers and we both played in bands where we were basically both too stupid to be allowed to talk on a mic. We got in Garrick from The Little Explorer (excellent post hardcore band) on drums, but by all acounts he was far too good so it never got off the ground. We then remembered that our mate Jay was a pretty good punk drummer so we got him drunk one night and asked him to play drums. We have been playing since then really, 6 years down, its still fun, people either still love it or hate it. Its one of those things that is constant in my life, girlfriends and bands have come and gone but the Zombies has always just kept going, we'll probably still be doing it until one of us dies I guess, I can't really see any other reason for stopping.

2.   What's been the greatest achievement of your musical career so far and what has been the all time low?

There are always great moments, thats why people play in bands. Obviously doing the Business has been fantastic, I have played accross Europe and toured the US, met some really cool people along the way, I can't thank Micky enough for giving me the opportunity to do this, its been some of the funnest months of my life.

Other things that really stick out are things like the first record I put out with The Short-Cuts, at that point I never dreamed that I would be able to listen to myself on my stereo at home, I had a massive sense of pride about it all, like I had actually achieved something, looking back on it I still enjoy the songs, despite the cheesy teenage moments on it!

First trip abroad was great, it was playing out in Spain with The Hyperjax, I'd always wanted to play in different countries and when we got there it was a bit like an industrial estate in Warrington, bloody freezing and swamped with cheap speed, but I had a great time.

There hasn't really been that many low points, when my first band broke up I felt like shit, just before my first gig with the Business I felt like I was about to die.

As far as the Zombies go there has never been a gig I didn't enjoy, its a great big fucking stress release whenever we play, its a bit like hammering a punch bag or aggressive masturbation.

3.   Edwin Crust has invented the world first ever magnetic underwear.  Personally I find it utterly useless except for de-polarising my time machine.  However my friend says its great for pulling robots?  Have you any ideas for using magnetism and is robot sex a realistic option in your hectic life?

Magnetism was something that always confused me at school, something about the flow of electrons? You could change it by bashing it with another bit of metal?? completely confusing...

It has its uses, fridges, tides, fridge magnets errr seperating cans for recycling about 10 years ago... I can't really think of any more uses.

As for robot sex you have to look at existing evidence... For example in Rocky 4, Rocky purchases a robot assistant for Pauly, being a champion of sexism Pauly changes its voice to be a slutty woman. After a short while the robot becomes wife-like, this shows that due to Robots having quick processing they soon become attached and controlling. So if your going to sleep with a Robot its best to give it a false name and hope it doesnt extract your DNA on penetration!

As for me personally I think my girlfriend would be pretty pissed off at me if I invested in a robot slut, she is also a lot better with technology than I am so I dread to think what she might programme it to do!

4.   Describe your fellow Zombies and Hyperjax in 3 terribly shaming words apiece?  Please feel free to embarrass these reprobates as much as possible?

Redneck Zombies -

Bevan - Piss your floor

Jay - Puke in Van

Hyperjax -

Sam - Likes licking heads

Bob - pies, chips, rock 'n' roll

Cooley - fuck, fight, football

5.   Heroes and zeroes in life and music please?

That's a hard question, I met some people I used to think were heroes and after you have spoken to them they become just normal folk... I guess real heroes are everyday people that one day do something extraordinary, like that fellow who stood in front of the tanks or Rosa Parks, people who step up when it really matters.

6.   Having been around in various circles on the musical merry-go-round - how do you find the attitudes of punters and other bands in general to the whole musical mission?

It varies from place to place, in the UK there are pockets of people really trying to get a good thing going, they tend to be the smaller towns in my experience.. Manchester is my local city, I find gigs there are terrible, unless its a big touring band coming through people just don't bother, its horrible to see area where what someones hair is doing is more important to what you listen to! My friend Tony (at Roadkill Records) ensures me that we are due a resurgance in good punk rock and that the scene will somehow get the kiss of life, so fingers crossed for that!

On the whole I have never really met anyone that I hate, obviously there are the arrogant bands that think they are the shit (no names mentioned) they are annoying, but at the same timeI don't really care, if they really believe that playing in some fucking band somehow makes them better than anyone else then they are pretty deluded and in 10 years time they will probably be pretty bitter and bitching about the good old days when they used to be cool!

7.   What's your best gig that you have ever played on and what would be the ideal gig you would like to take part in?

'Best' is a weird word, I think the best in terms of gig size and general immenseness would be the RiotFest in Chicago with The Business, 7 Seconds were on the bill with Toby Morse doing guest vocals, Mustard Plug played, Youth Brigade, The Toasters basically a bunch of bands I listen to while I was growning up, it was really wierd, there was about 4000 people there and I was part of something that people actually wanted to see, Micky made jokes about all the plastic paddies in the states, it was great... in fact that whole tour was good, never thought I'd ever be part of anything that big! Plus having Mick, Chris and Tosh as your bandmates makes everything the more fun and unpredictable.

The best Hyperjax gig was probably Sweden last new years eve, we had to have security on the stage just to get the females off, they couldn't get enough of it, they were Swedish too, eveything you have heard about Swedish girls is true, They are stunning and they seem for some reason want to sleep with you. It makes no logical sense. Anyway, the gig was awesome, we packed out the room and played a blinder, despite the drums being made of balsa wood and held together by doc martin boots and the fact that I had to abstain from the plethera of beauties that wanted my fat hairy body! Really good times, if you ever get the chance, pay Gothenberg a visit!

8.   Harry Hovis is planning to conquer space on a slice of plutonium fuelled high bran bread?  For me this is pure madness as anyone who understands the laws of space travel will surely agree that the Warburtons Toastie is an advanced hypergalactic flying machine?  Is the use of bread too much for the modern world to understand in these times of cracker rebellion and tea-cake uncertainty.  Also is Keith Chegwin a twat?

Any sane man would agree with you on the bread question, you need a thick toasting bread to get through the earths atmosphere, as the out side cooks it provides a protective crust aound the pilot, so long as the pilot is not made of cheese he will be perfectly safe.

I think the cracker rebllion is dying on its arse, what you need to watch for is all these foriegn baked goods such as the Pannini or the Pretzel, they are coming over to Britain with secret missions from Brussels... Someone should inform the Home Office...

As for Keith Chegwin, I don't really have anything against him, I once saw a programme called Naked Jungle which was a bit like the Crystal Maze but with naked people, Cheggers presented this in the buff, it was pretty disturbing at the time, but fair do's to him for doing it.

9.   Best venues you have played in and what made them so good.  The crowd, atmosphere, large financial payment, abundance of free beer etc?

Abersytwth was good with both the Zombies and The Hyperjax, Ii think Bob Mince has left now so Ii guess it may be rubbish again, but he made the gigs what they were, decent rider, decent bands and well promoted.  

Whitehaven Civic Hall was great with The Short-Cuts, the PA appeared to be set up for Guns 'n' Roses, it was awesome. Keep meaning to go back there.

Leipzig in Germany was great with The Business, a real cool place, there was plenty of food and beer, the sound was great there was a skate ramp in the building and the crowd was fantastic.

10.   The best and worst things about the punk scene please?  Please name and shame any individuals and add hand drawn pictures if necessary?

I'm not going to name and shame anyone, its not in my nature to complain about individuals.

I think the best thing about the Punk Scene is that it is everwhere you go, sometimes its small but its always there, this basically means you have friends all over the world. I met up with some guys in the states that I knew through the internet, it was great to meet them and they treated me like we were old friends. It can be a really positive force.

The things that annoy me are just the little things. It annoys me when some 19 year old covered in tipex and safety pins tells me 'I suck' because I don't listen to Crass or The Casualties. It also annoys me when some of the older generation discount what the young have to offer on the basis of them being old enough to have seen The Clash first time round. On the whole I think people should just be themselves and not feel like they have to keep up some sort of front, but at the same time be open to new ideas. I don't mind admitting that I like Greenday, Dookie came out when I was about 13, of course I liked it, still do, they write great songs... "they're not punk!" you may say, but so what, a good song is a good song!

11.   Ben Scabs (drummer of the Scabs) has recently confessed to being a tar-mac enthusiast?  He can recognise seventy five different road surfaces on feel alone?  I knew there was something shifty about this guy when I found him naked and drunk at a gig knee deep in gravel and bitumen.  Is highway filth the way forward or is Benjamin Scabistro a deviant of the highest order that needs a damn good flogging and a stint in the army?

Whatever floats your boat I guess, so long as its his gravel and it isn't been stolen from projects funded by taxpayers money I say fair does!

12.   Finally push the cause for all the bands you are currently involved with and tell us all why we should check you all out.

The Business... Well this is a website about punk, I guess I don't need to tell you why you should check them out.

The Hyperjax... We have 2 records out on Raucous Records, the 2nd has just come out, its basically punk rockabilly, have a look on the myspace.com/thehyperjax. Its a lot of fun live and the songs are well written.

The Redneck Zombies... This band is to me what in an ideal world bands would be like, its entirely about playing music with your mates and having a good time, we don't take ourselves too serously, we play punk rock, check us out.. myspace.com/redneckzombies

 

 

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