1. Bookstore - where did it begin and why didn't you call your band Greengrocers or Butchers?

Erm it began while ago a year or 2 maybe just cos no one was playing enough loud music for our liking. We were originally called Shotgun Johnny which is pretty mint but then we found out about some poncy southern band called that. Crisis talks soon followed and for some fucking reason we picked Bookstore from a list. A decision regretted almost instantly but that bastard Tory bumbag drummer of ours insisted we already had a reputation with that name and since he put all the effort into getting us one we didn't argue.

2. Describe your fellow band members in 4 slanderous words!

Stupid pill-popping pisswizards!

3. Paul Mog (of Crouch Mog fame) was recently seen entering the abode of renowned sexual deviant Mr Radish 'o' Sponge. Paul was seen to be carrying a Hovis loaf, 4 Crunch Creams, a torch and several back issues of 'Lard Arse Love'. In your own corrupt mind tell us what you envisage!

My what a lovely tea party

4. Best and worst gigs to date - reasons, venues and bands played with please?

Wasted was pretty fun, free beer, free festival, my lovely gold-sequin outfit and 3 litres of scrumpy by 10.30 am before playing probably helped though.
Worst, probably a battle of the bands we did like our second ever gig we were truly awful, but no one noticed - no one ever does.

5. There aren't too many female fronted bands at the mo - come to think of it there aren't too many bands fronted by a kangaroo but that's besides the point. How do you find you are recieved and does it help in getting gigs and such?

Yeah it gets us gigs but usually the wrong uns, not naming names but a one letter named Manchester promoter springs to mind. Usually having a girl makes people have a look

6. Influences please - in life, music and the shed?

Not trying to sound like all the bands I hate!

7. William Box has a square willy. Its a hindrance to his love life but mathematically he can't go wrong with certain equations relating to surface areas. Is shaped genitalia the way forward for accountancy and what shape would you like your genitals to be?

The exact shape they are - like an enourmous train!

8. You are promoter for the day and with your magic wand (now now) you can summon up five bands at any venue? Explain who and where and why?

Minions of Jeffrey - Cos they're the most fun band ever
Mclusky - Though split up still fucking mint
Leftover Crack - Cos I hated them when I had the chance to see em and now quite like the cunts even if they are fucking childish
Captain Hotknives - Maybe as a compere though I think that would work during changeovers. Maybe
Postcards from Wakanda - Just to watch the bastards get mauled by the punks in attendence. God I hate that band especially that curly haired nazi who fronts them. he he
Played at some free party somewhere followed by some nasty drum and bass rave

9. The joys and gripes of the music scene? How do you find being in a band trying to get gigs, release material, get promoted etc?

Complete fucking ballache but then playing is so much fun you forget all the shite, the drink and drugs help too.

10. What are your ultimate ambitions for the band and for you as an individual?

Try to make enough money that I don't have to do anything else with my life but without all the bullshit of the current record industries. Doing it Lab4 style making just enough money to beg, blag and borrow our way round the country for 15 years, legends.
Personally I've made loads of friends through this band and more importantly a large amount of free ale, If that could continue I'd be pretty happy.

11. Concrete underpants -safe, dangerous or just fuckin' silly. Would you wear a pair and if so what ratio of sand to water would you use in the mix?

Good idea for other people, the kind you want to fall off bridges, like that girl who fronts Kamikaze Sperm. Bastard he he!

12. Finally sell the band and make all us ignorant swines come forth and purchase from the bookstore.

We're mint - why not!

 

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