Ben of

One Wet Nun


1. One Wet Nun - a sinister name - are you satanists and could you give us a brief history of the band?

Well, it all started way back almost 20 years ago when I was concieved... To cut a long story short, however, we formed the band in Nov 2005 as me (Ben (Guitar, Vocals)), Marshall (Drums) and Marshall's brother Lyall (Bass, Backing Vocals)... To cut a short story a tad shorter, we've just reformed with a new bassist after taking a short break during the summer. Paul (Bass) takes the place of Lyall as he buggered off to college.

As for the first question, not quite, I'm more of an agnostic. Dunno about Paul and Marsh!

2. Describe the bands style and tell us about its influences!

We play ska and punk. What more can I say? We're influenced by just about every musical style from ska and punk to jazz and indie. Myself and Marsh are also closet fans of a bit of emo. Marshall himself is also in a metal and hardcore band, though I can't stand the stuff! So yeah, we get influences from everywhere. Even some chavvie music has steered our music in strange ways. If you listen to you'll here One Wet Nun songs done in different styles.

3. Best and worst gigs to date please with all the gruesome details.

Worst gig has to be Sk8nMosh Festival in Salisbury Football Grounds... It was dire! I started the gig out of tune, then broke my top e string (try playing ska without it!) Lyall almost fell off the stage and the kit's cymbals kept falling off or falling on Marshall! But the crowd stayed with us the whole way, singing along to the Nun greats like "Groovy Lemon Pie" and "Enj-OI!"

Best gig was the day before Sk8nMosh, Firsdown Music Fayer. The gig was for a more diverse audience, us being the only "mosher" band there. Before us was a blues tribute band, a string quartet, a survivor tribute band and other such nonsense, so it was really heartening to have the crowd loving the music. The commentator took the piss out of our name before we went on saying shit like "so which on of you's the nun then? You wet?" We left him speechless with our set!

4. Humpty Dumpty has started selling Angel Dust to Little Miss Muffet. Boy has that spider had some fuckin' beatings since this addiction started. The question is however - would you bum The Grand Old Duke of York for a chain of sausage shops (I must emhasise that the sausages on sale are filled with human flesh) - the choice is yours?

Hmm... Human flesh sounds appealling... I guess... But I'd have to give it a miss I think. I was really drunk once and was almost taken up the arse by this gay bloke, after that I kinda reconsidered my sexuality from "probably bi" to "definitely straight!" Although I do kinda fancy Marshall... (much to his girlfriend's loathing!)

5. Tell us about your local scene - the good, bad and ugly?

Right, I'm good; Marshall's bad and Paul's ugly.

I can't really think of anything more... Our local scene's going down the pan at the moment! We have a ska band that's turning hardXcore, more metal/scremo/hardXcore bands than you can shake a kipper at and chavs that beat up anyone with hair longer than an inch!

The only redeeming features are One Wet Nun, Cash For Chaos and, of course, Robb Blake (ex-Whitmore) doing his solo shit as well as another couple of bands like The Perverts and Atomic Lovehead.

6. Give us some details about your personal CD collection and the best and worst we could expect to find!

Another embarrassing one! Um, the best would probably be... Rancid 2000 album? I do love it. The worst you'd expect to find would be some emo CD. I got a bit of a soft spot for Brand New and The Spill Canvas (sad or what!?) But yeah, you can look at my shelves and there's all sorts, look in the case of CDs without cases and you'll find emo, Dresden Dolls, Mindless Self Indulgence and other crap like that!

I need a Fall Out Boy CD... I actually love them!

*Ben screams as he's bottled off stage at the next gig...*

7. Gibbon football involves the wrapping up of a small primate in several soiled sheets (this is the ball) whilst the two seven a-side teams play 30 minutes each way totally naked. All players must be in a state of arousal and if the monkey dies whilst being kicked about then the match is declared a draw. I love monkeys so personally wouldn't indulge but if it was in fact one of THE Monkees that was being kicked about then I would be in like shot. The question is - who would you like to kick around a football pitch and is the ingestion of keyboards a great way to increase your vocabulary?

Marshall puts away about 30/40 keyboards a day just to try and widen his vocabulary! I must have been breast-fed on them as a kid...

As for who I'd like to kick around a footie pitch, it would have to be the singer from either Aiden or someone (preferably the front-man) of Bullet For My Valentine. Dicks!

8. Best One Wet Nun song- why, who wrote it and its influences?

Well, our favourite with the fans has to be "Groovy Lemon Pie" it's on our MySpace, and everyone knows the chorus "Whoa, Fuck Emo!" As you know, I like my emo (at times...) and faced the humiliation of being called a hypocrite by stating it's not a song about emo, but an attack at scenes as a whole. Each scene slags off another because the music ain't the same, or they dress in skinnier jeans or flat-peak caps. It pisses me off, so me and Marsh wrote the song as more of a satire than an attack on emo.

My personal favourite song would probably be "I've Got A Cadillac" I'm so getting one when I get enough cash!

9. If you could be a promoter for a day and arranged a line-up of any 6 bands - who would it be, where would it be and why?

Hmmm... One Wet Nun playing 6 sets! :D

I'd have CapDown opening; Mad Caddies next; Tiger Army after them; Robb Blake doing his thang (that's four...); Sublime second to last and The Clash headlining! (This'd be if the late Mr. Strummer, and that dude from Sublime were alive. R.I.P.)

It'd be in some really shit and seedy little dive somewhere. Somewhere really punk rawk!

10. Your gripes and joys about the current scene please?

Fucking hate metal/hardXcore.

Fucking love how ska's creeping back into pop music and adverts. Listen to any medical or medicine advert and 9 times outta 10 it has a reggae or ska tune!

11. Testicle marbles - explain how you play? Also is goblin porn a way to total edification?

I'm a big fan of the latter, mage porn's a better deal however! As for testicle marbles, I'll just ask someone...
Cam (Anatomy Of Me) says: "It's when you sit with your legs open opposite another person with their legs open and throw marbles at each other's nether regions."
I'd prefer fruit.

12. Finally as always push your band and do the ultimate sales pitch!

We'll give you a cookie if you listen to our band :D

The Nun Smiles at you all...

May the Nun be with you.