Bazz of

The Crash Mats


1.  The Crash Mats - an intro, a history, an account of what has transpired thus far highlighting the glory, the gory and what plans ye have for the future story!

The Crash Mats formed in 2008 in the deepest darkest part of Oldham, me (Evil Bazz Bass/Vocals) and Mr Royales (Guitar) had been in many bands previous since we were 13. We meet Mat P (Drums) at a local pub, Royales had been to an exploited gig with him and knew he played drums so we had a chat and then a few weeks later were playing our first gig in Oldham. Since then we've played around the North West, played with some "big" bands (UK Subs, G.B.H [Spunge] ) and tonnes of local bands. We've recorded a 5 track E.P and just tried our hardest to get gigs where and when we can. The future? More gigs, more recording, more gigs, more recording...repeat until we can't anymore.
2.   How would you describe your sound and what is your ideal sub-generic pool in which to swim?   Also do you think that bands such as your self should keep all options open and not restrict themselves to the some times choking realms ofthe punk scene?

Our sound can be best described as punk rock, Yeah we mix in some ska or harder elements but generally its punk rock. its what we all love, were all different though, I like NOFX, Royales likes Reverend Horton Heat, and Mat P likes Motorhead. We just mix what we like together. We try to keep it varied as there is nothing worse then going to see a band play and every song sounds the same If it sounds good to us we will use it.

You should always keep all options open, or else it just gets boring, for you and the people watching.

3.  Tell us about your song writing process - from the initial thought to the stage - what goes on to get that final number finished?

Well what usually happens is Mr Royales will appear as if by magic at practise and say "I have a new riff!." Me and him will then work on it, see what we can do, does it fit if we play it like this or that, generally play through all the bits twice, Once were sorted Mat P will hit the drums. For about 2/3 weeks I’ll sing gibberish over the top of the songs to see where I can go, what I can fit in, what works what doesn't. Then after about 4 weeks of playing it we have a song and it will go into the set. I never write lyrics down there just in my head, so from gig to gig then can change slightly if there newer songs, but only slightly.
4.  Alsations have rubber nobs, Jack Russels have corrugated todgers, Poodles have extendable gristle that tastes of clam juice.  The question is a 3 parter:- a)   Would you have an affair with a clockwork dog and if so what breed, b/  How would you charm the said wind up mutt and what underwear would you buy it for Valentines Day, c/  Would you make love to a golf course for 34 gold sex truncheons?

A- Yes, It would have to be a St Bernard they have a nice face.

B- I'd get it drunk on whiskey....that always works, then lure it back to mine with promises of cannabis cake and dance. It would have to be Silk Tiger print pants. Nice!!

C- Yes........I think I've already done that once. Magic Mushrooms are powerful!

5.   The best gig to date mate that the CM's tribe have played on?

Well...We've had a fair few gigs now, first time playing with the UK Subs at the Witchwood in Ashton was a great experience, they were really nice and spoke to us before and after we played. Same with G.B.H. The Wingnut boys always put on a fun day at the star and garter, we've played for them twice down there and a couple of times in Oldham too and there nice guys and usually have a great line up. Plus they manage to get people down to gigs which is always fun!

The TNS guys are awesome too, we played Kraak in Manchester for them at the start of Jan and it was a great night and they were really friendly too, that's all you have to do to get a nice word from us, be friendly and talk to us, there is nothing worse then going to a gig and once you get there your stuck in a corner on your own cos the promoters or the other bands just don't want to talk to you!

6.   The local scene - how are you finding things and what is your general view on what you see in the punk world?

Some bands are amazing and really nice people (No Decorum, Eye Licker, Manifest, Buddhist Anarchists, Sky Rocket Jack, Another Mans Rhubarb, Buff...and others) and they all play some amazing music and are all completely different

Others sort of have a bit of an elitist attitude, because we don't have tattoos or piercings or a 7ft Mohawk were not a punk band, cos we don't shout 1,2,3,4 before every song and not all our songs sound the same - were not punk because we play with a smile on our faces and usually sing about cartoon shows or Batman - were not a punk band! FUCK OFF!

The bands I’ve mentioned are all fucking sound guys and want to help other bands out as much as they can. We have a laugh, sorry that were not "that punk band you really like that say the things you like and have the same political points of view as you and dress exactly like you".

7.   Give is your top 3 - CD's you have heard, bands you have seen, books you have read, crimes you have committed?

CD's (I've recently got into vinyl again but I can do this)

NOFX- Punk in Drublic- Changed my life when I heard it, made me want to play bass and be in a band.
Beastie Boys- Check Your Head - Oh my a hip hop album!!! I will have punk points taken off me now! ah well it’s a fucking brilliant album so I don't care, every song is different, every song is amazing!
Crass - Feeding of the 5000 - Opened my eyes to angry music, music with an agenda, music with a voice and something to say. I never fully understood everything and still don't but the general shite playing and rough as fuck sound made me sit up and listen!


Watchmen - Alan Moore

Batman - Jeph Lobe

The Boys - Garth Ennis

Crimes - Ermmmmm The Crash Mats Legal department have told me to say " No Comment!"

8.   Loophole Marrowfat once held the Queen hostage whilst dressed as an A4 envelope  (with window).  Do you like envelopes, envelopes are the fuckin best - could you write a short ode regarding the said postal containers and mention Oxo Gravy for 10 packets of custard.

I do, I do. ok here goes

Envelopes, with small bits of paper inside

Envelopes, what wonders do you hide

Envelopes, they have windows for eyes 

Envelopes, there used by the postal service.

9.   Politics and dirty tricks - they go hand in hand - what is the bands political stance and what are the most political ditties you compose.  Whilst yer at it - what is the best Crash Mat's song?

We don't do politics - were just not intelligent enough for that, we don't know what were talking about and would rather sing about cartoons characters, wrestling, Batman and smoking know the things we know about, were not politicians. Our most political song would probably be "legalise cannabis...just for me." Our best over all ditty? Hmmmm, I would say "Ludwig" a song about the bad guy from the Naked Gun film, but the lads would probably disagree with me, but I like that one. Get me off this ride always goes down well as does our cover of the theme tune to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air."

10.  What turns you on most regarding music and what frustrates you the most about the scene?   How would you like to see things operate in an ideal world?

What turns me on? Well soft mood lighting, a bit of porn and maybe some weed. Music wise....Shit that rocks! a good bassline with a stonkingly good beat. What turns me off. Acoustic guitars! In an ideal world Punk and "heavy" music in general would be talked about and shown more in the mainstream, More opportunities for unsigned bands, more focus on bands outside of London. and people turning up to shows to support local/unsigned bands!

11.   Spunktacles - glasses made from sperm - the pluses, the minuses - and have you any bodily fluid creations you want to unleash on the world.

Pluses. Ermmm none. you wouldn't be able to see!! Minus. everything. what would the frames be made of? Spunk too? how would you get them on your face.....oh...lets not think about that. No- Not yet anyway, maybe one day. I sweat a lot at gigs I don't need to unleash any more bodily fluids on the crowd!

12.   The Crash Mats it appears get better and better but need more to witness this - use this platform of the final question to attract new onlookers and potential rock and rolling fans?

OK Well!! Upcoming gigs   

The Nelson in Stockport 26th Jan

The Go-Go club in Oldham 9th March  

NQ live in Manchester, supporting the UK Subs May 18th

You can get a FREE copy of our 5 Track E.P by emailing your details to