1.   Tell us about One Man Stand - a brief history and the members and the
aims.

Me and Jan were in a band called DFA {desperate for attention) after a few years we did a spell in an indi band with a complete (but very talented) barmpot called Pete Hall.
Pete worked us very hard and we soon realized that the more you put into a band the more you get out of it.  DFA were going nowhere and Pete did a Lord Lucan.
Jan and me wanted to form a new band, all we needed was a singer and bass player.
The bass player we borrowed of local wank metal band RBH and I sang until we found a singer, we never did.

2.  There is a rumor on the punk scene that Noz is 70% nipple and 30% cider. Incredible - can you clarify?

I must quash these rumors once and for all.
Noz is 70% cider and 30% nipple.

3.   What is your favorite OMS track and why?

Black Hole is my favorite coz every time we write a new song I think it’s the best song we have, then we play Black Hole and I realize it aint. What I am trying to say is Black Hole gives us something to aim for.

4. Who are your influences in punk and life?

My Brother (rip) if it wasn’t for him I would never have been introduced to Punk, football or beer. That goes for both questions.

5.   Being a football nut I'm surprised this doesn't influence your songs -
Any footy chants in the pipeline and also what's your favorite football
Song of all time.  'The Referees a Wanker' is an option.

No, I try to keep the two as far apart as possible a bit like politics and religion.
My favorite footy song has to be a song we used to sing at Stockport (when we were good) to all the Johnny come lately’s “where were you, when we were shit?”

6.   Jan (ex fat man - current bastard) the laxative and living lettuce diet. What do you think?

I don’t know how he did it. But he’s like an x smoker now when it comes to fatty foods. If I eat a Mars Bar he tells me how many calories are in it and calls me a fat barstard. I never thought I’d ever hear Jan call anyone a fat barstard.

7. Tell us your ideal line-up for OMS to play on?

That’s a difficult one, I would love all the bands from the SAS tour to make it big one day, and do a gig just for the people that came to the SAS gigs (all for free).

8. How do you think the punters perceive OMS?

    I think we are one of those bands you either love or hate.

9. Why should people come and watch OMS?

      To see which one of the above it is.

10.   Dracula vs. Paul Daniels in a naked wrestling match!  Who would you bet?
On and why?

I like that question, not a lot. I would love to know what goes on in that head of yours.
Fuck off OMD, you’re a fucking nutter.

11.   Your website guestbook seems inundated with messages from cranks and
crackpots from the world over?   Why the attention.

I once posed as a doctor in a mental home to get Noz his medication, while I was there I sold some of our cd’s to the inmates, they must have got the web address from them.

12.   Finally - OMS - a fuckin great band - what message have you got for
the punk community?

 “Like what you like, be who you like, and fuck anyone who disagrees.

Thanks for your support OMD, you’re a bleeding barmpot, but as you say, you’re my kind of barmpot.
See you later mate. (you can print that).

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