FUNGALPUNK INTERVIEWS

RAGWEED

 

    1. Introduce us to the world of Ragweed and tell us a little bit about your personal histories!

    Matt: an ever, spinal tap-esque drummer changing band, with two members of former WWF fame. The two most electrifying men in musical entertainment formed Ragweed to lay the smack down of the candy ass of many a hippy.

    Tom: If you play drums and your pro-choice contact us.

    2. How would you describe your sound and style - punk, indie, cretinous etc?

    Tom: Cretin-Rock 100%. A mixture of Shellac pissing on Bitch Alert, as they de flower the X-Factor finalists.

    Matt: Interesting fact – X Factor is rubbish.  

    3. The house of crapulence tumbles to the ground and the wee marvels of sprout land applaud with nothing less than soiled delight - phew I needed to get that off my chest - the question - can JCB's be used to uncover the inner rectal workings of Pope John Paul the 28th and would you spend 5 months as a Raymond Burr look-a-like so as to promote the posteriors of postmen.

    Matt: JCB’s don’t have the godly man power required for such a huge undertaking.

    Tom: So sayeth the spider.

    Matt: I would personally rather spend five months dressed as Anna Nicole smith.

    Tom: You will not be worthy enough to caress her awesome boobage. I will be however, as I will be dressed up as that moth eaten, octogenarian; J. Howard Marshall.

    4. The best Ragweed song - reveal the contents, expose the writer and explain why it wins thy individual favour?

    Tom: Widget; a short, and very sweet, song about a now deceased feline. Written by myself while trekking the arctic in search of that perfect chord.

    Matt: We were out there days.

    Tom: Yeah. But we found it though, we found it.

    Matt: Interesting fact number 2 – This cat had no tail and played with a little balloon. Listen to the 5 lines of lyrics; it tells his whole magical cat like story.  

    5. Tell us about your local scene - twats, twits, twilighters and general turds please!

    Matt: There certainly are a lot of twats.

    Tom: Yep

    Matt: The Brighton scene has become an incredibly diluted bowl of toilet water. It’s getting increasingly difficult to find bands that we like and who are actually any good. Don’t get me wrong there are some great bands.

    Tom: Caution Horses, Fat Bitch, Dope Fight . . .

    Matt: But they are all tucked away playing little gigs that no one goes too.

    Tom: That’s why we started “Shadows of Cowley Club” it’s a DIY, underground, alternative night that focuses on getting bands that we are friends with and enjoy seeing, down from London and around Brighton together in-order to start building a local scene where people actually enjoy going to and playing at, rather than playing the swan and tomato on a Friday night to a bunch of 50 year old piss heads, booked by a crap promoter. Not that that is directed at anyone in particular, YOU F#CKING TOOL!!!!

    6. What are you individual ambitions in music and life dudes?

    Matt: To become a ninja.

    Tom: I want to be Batman and rule Gotham with my stealthy skills of stealthyness and pure awesomeness.

    Matt: Don’t forget your Bat credit card.

    Tom: Never leave the cave without it.

    7. What are the best books you have read, CD's listened to and films watched - I like a bit of trivia tha' knows?

    Matt: On a serious note the best album this year has to be Set Menu by a sweet little noise two piece from High Wycombe called One Man Team Dance. Possibly one of the greatest and weirdest sounding records this year. Also check out Yokozuna who are amazing . . .

    Tom: Death Pedals, Bitch Alert, Tweak Bird. Their amazing too!!

    Matt: . . . and listen to Songs about Fucking by Big Black.

    Tom: Book wise, it’s all about Jeeves and Wooster!!

    Matt: I, however, have been re-reading the Rocks autobiography. It’s a thrilling read about one man and his eye brow.

    Tom: Oh oh, and the Batman films are always classic, especially the one with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Clearly Mr Freeze was his greatest role eeever.

    Matt: Interesting fact number 3: What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICEAGE!

    8. Pontefract de Plume is the biggest retailed of ringpiece ornamentation this side of Batley! His latest affair with Frank Frogwobbler the living half man/half amphibian is causing quite a stir down at the local stamp factory but all I want to know is a/ Would you sleep with an amphibian and if so which one b/ What advantages do you think amphibious love could have over the more normal relationships and c/ Have any of you ever been called Audrey?

    Matt: Audrey was my native name is Sweden where I lived for several months in the mountains making tiny socks for frogs. So I can honestly relate to the seriousness of your question. There is nothing wrong between the love of man and a good frog. Not toads, they suck. Why in fairy tales do the princesses kiss all the frogs. That should be me!

    Tom: Frogs would be my choice. Oooh the fun I would have; romping and frolicking in the water with my amphibious chums. Then we’d all have lots and sex (using protection of course) before skipping off to find Jeremy Fisher and see if he will give us a ride in his lily-pad boat before going back to his slippy-sloppy house for tea. I’ve never been called Audrey, Suzie yes, but Audrey no.

    9. Any politics within the weave you'd like to tell us about?

    Matt: Two things. Ban cyclists. And save the fucking orang-utans. Those little guys need our help!

    Tom: we’re pro-choice, hippy hating, cyclist despising, orang-utan kissing rockers.

    10. Tell us about your latest gigs - big, booming or bust - be open and honest!

    Matt: As mentioned Shadows over Cowley club is our monthly night which gives us a chance to play with some of our favourite bands. Cheap beer and good music, what more can you want?

    Tom: Ha, dry flour is always appreciated. At the last one someone had spilt a drink on my side of the stage. I spent the whole night trying not to fall over while still throwing my guitar and myself around. Not easy, let me tell you. We get pretty aggressive on stage

    Matt: we also gig in London fairly regularly. To be honest it not worth playing anywhere else . . .

Tom: Well Brighton is good, just got to play the right place and with the right people. Bristol is good too.

Matt: However if you want to book us we will come. As long as it’s not with a dad rock covers band! Been there….a story for another time perhaps?

11. Nylon trumpets - do ya wanna blow it man - explain how these wonderful instruments could help your band and tell us about any forthcoming releases!

Tom: Fuck nylon trumpets. We want to hear more Geophone! A Small drum filled with loads of pellets, or a kazoo. That Jimi Hendrix track sounded crap with it on.

Matt: Personally I want to hear more of the miniature violin type instruments played by the small indigenous of the mountains of South America.

Tom: Our next recording will be punk compositions entirely, created with the contents of recently deceased beetles found in the back garden.

Matt: Our only recent output was a live recording from the Brixton Windmill, recorded on the last date of our tour, after five days of an insane amount of coffee.

Tom: Everything was double speed.

Matt: Although the sound quality isn’t great (let’s be honest it’s a little rough round the edges) It captures what we are really about. Playing punk with songs about . . .

Tom: Sunshine.

Matt: Sunshine.

Tom: Dead cats.

Matt: Dead cats.

Tom: Bed wetting.

Matt: Bed . . . .???

Tom: What?

Matt: . . . and . . . other such topics. With very distorted guitars and shouting.

12. Finally push the Ragged Weed and get us enthuse - now is thy chance - spread your seeds!

Tom: Well . . . if you’re sexy, clever, talented and longing for death. You’ll adore Ragweed. You’ll simply drool over us, from our big stocky guitar parts, huge beating drums, phatt throbbing bass, crotch tightening poppy melodies, and you’ll especially love how we expect to be taken seriously, arrwwwww. Then being sexy, clever, talented and longing for death, you’ll want nothing more than to listen to us every minute, every hour, every day. And then being sexy, clever, talented and longing for death; you won’t rest until you have all of our T-shirts, records, bath towels, toilet paper etc. Then being sexy, clever, talented and longing for death you’ll tell all your friends to like us on facebook and come to all of our gigs. And then being sexy, clever, talented and longing for death you . . .

Matt: will stop trying to pad out your answers to interviewers.

Tom: Yes. Facebook.com/ragweedrock

Matt: Seriously though, we might not have big time ambitions. We want to play good gigs, with our mates, have a good time and actually do what it’s all about; play and write some fucking good tunes.