1. I scrape through the discordant debris with well worn and bloodied hands, I find many Relics - what makes you lot so special and how did you come to be as you are!
I guess what makes us special is our complete unwillingness (and perhaps inability?) to take ourselves too seriously. Punk/metal etc. can be quite a miserable scene at times and we're a reaction to that. We came to be over a common love of big riffs, craft beer and dicking around.
2. How do you go about getting gigs, writing songs and pushing your general merch and do you ever feel the whole escapade is one long bout of urination in a gale?
Getting gigs is a tricky one, because a lot of promoters only deal with single genre gigs. We're too metal for a lot of the punk promoters, too punk for a lot of the metal promoters…urinating in a gale is a fair analogy. That being said, we've played a fair few great gigs in the short time we've been together and we are grateful to the open-minded promoters who have given us a shot! Writing songs is the easy bit; me, Rich and Sam craft incredible riffs and Paul comes in and ruins them with lyrics about pencils and genetically modified killing machines.
3. The best Relics song, the best gig you have played and of course...dum, de, dum, dum...the worst!
My favourite is 'Death By Lea'", which is the first track from our new EP. I think it best showcases all the different elements that make up the mess that is Relics. The best gig we've played…we were lucky enough to be main support for NYHC legends Agnostic Front on their recent UK tour. It was pretty inspiring to play with a band who have been around for all these years and not let it water down their enthusiasm. Vinny Stigma is 60 years old and has more energy than me! As for the worst gig, we've been quite fortunate that we haven't had any really shocking ones. We've played a couple of gigs where literally no one has come but the other bands all watch each other and we've always been able to salvage it by making a load of new mates in those bands every time we play.
4. Cobweb underpants, the pro's and the con's, the anal hazards, the arachnid terror - explain how you feel about this 8 leg created clothing item and what insect based garments you would like to see on the market!
I'm not sure it's such a good idea. I occasionally spend whole days in my pants. Think of all the debris they would pick up if they were made of cobwebs! Can someone design some sort of device that allows me to harness the power of ants? Those little buggers are strong!
5. Your local scene sir - the hits, shits, tops and flops - the faces, the places, the utter disgraces - spill the beans from your critical can!
Our local scene in Huddersfield is great, to be honest. First of all we have The Parish, which is Huddersfield's premier rock pub/live music venue. They have bands on almost every night, catering for almost every genre you could think of, and they always give opportunities for young new bands to come through and cut their teeth. Then we have the bands and artists: Mr. Shiraz, Band Of Thieves, Inhumane, Leo Brazil, Monkey Fist…there are more but those are the ones that jump to mind. All fantastic. Kerry Hughes is a great producer operating out of Huddersfield (he did our EP). Plus we have Kev running Cats? Aye! Records putting out loads of good punk bands. Can't complain really.
6. You are promoter for a day, have ten slots to fill - whose on, who is on the guest list, who is barred and where shall it be?
Ooh. I'd want it half made up of big bands and half made up of some of my favourite up and coming UK bands. Deftones / Converge / Every Time I Die / Modern Life Is War / Dillinger Escape Plan for the big bands, Weathered Hands / Yards / Cavorts / The Catharsis / Wicked Snakes for the smaller bands. No guest list, it's free entry, all are welcome. Unless you're Piers Morgan. Then you can fuck off. We'll have it at The Parish. It's ok, they know me there.
The other guys would all want different things, I'm sure. Paul would want Killing Joke. Sam would want Down. Rich would want 5ive. We're quite eclectic like that.
7. Your views on the politics, divisions and squabbling in the scene - does it need to buckle down and work together or all the sub-divisions and disagreements a good thing to keep it all lively.
DIY music scenes work best if everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet, I find. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and sometimes it's important to have a bit of a debate about things to smooth out any issues people might be having, but I find the squabbling and bitchiness that can exist within these scenes extremely tiresome. Band "rivalries" and bands slagging each other off over social media is a particular bugbear - it just makes everyone involved look a right prat.
8. Pop 'o' Bop Mackenzie has 3.5 legs, 8 eyes and 24 anal orifices - in fact his ass is a veritable shit sieve and causes one helluva mess. The question has no relevance to the previous statement and is:- Can the marrow conflict in Cornwall ever come to an end now that the gravy grenades are being used - it's a tough one but I insist you commit an answer cum solution!
I have literally no idea what you just said. I even Googled 'marrow conflict' and it brought up a political cartoon about a Zionist Cinema showing films that require '1D Glasses'. Probably best to leave that one alone.
9. Describe thy band mates in 4 words each with one of them keyboard related?
Rich - American Psycho looking keyboard.
Sam - Filthy party animal keyboard.
Paul - Old as fuck keyboard.
Me - Sexy sexy sexy keyboard.
10. Your motivations in life and noise, your hobbies, your ambitions, your hopes for all?
As a band, we just want to make music we enjoy making and have a laugh along the way. I know that's really clichéd but it's the truth. Our ambition is to keep plugging away at it, not compromising for anyone, and see how far we can go.
11. Two questions for one here - how does the band operate as a unit on and off stage and are there any areas of output you feel that you won't be considering participating in? I ask because the mix and match element usually throws up some wondrous surprises?
On and off stage we're all really good mates. We all get involved in all areas of the band, although I tend to take care of the more boring admin stuff (gig booking etc.) but we're definitely a good team. No one refuses to do anything. Probably because we're all fully aware of the abuse we'd get if we did.
12. The walls of indifference are standing firm, here is a chisel - bang away, carve yer message, push yer cause -knock some chunks out man!
We are RELICS. We like big riffs, beer, dicking around, making people laugh. We sound a bit like Clutch, Motorhead, Every Time I Die, Danzig…probably a few others. We have a three track EP coming out on October 17th through NO LABEL WANTS US SO WE'RE DOING IT OURSELVES Records. You can find us online at www.facebook.com/relicsriffs and there's a shoddily edited video floating about on YouTube for 'Death By Lead'. If we're playing near you, come and say hello. Have a beer with us. We'll talk about music. We'll talk about food. We'll talk about life. Satisfaction guaranteed.