Guy, Lyn and Debz of
THE JOHNNIE SQUIZZERCROW EXPERIMENT
1. Well, well, well- what do we have here, a band stretching the boundaries, avoiding the sub-scenes, doing it one way - their way - but...how did you end up at this stage, where on earth have you flew in from? A terse history please?
Guy: Eek, where to start? Played in a lot of bands over the years with people whose motivation was to become rock – or even worse – pop stars. A song should follow a formula - verse, chorus, verse chorus, middle 8 – what the fuck’s that all about? Always “no, you can’t do that, it’s wrong cos…” and so I set out to make music on my own, my way, my rules, do what sounds good to ME not some product twisted to fit criteria determined by self-appointed taste-herds. That was the original experiment thing and perhaps ironically it did seem to appeal to the extent of like 50K plays in 6 months on reverbnation and soundcloud before Lynn talked me into making it a real band!
Lynn: I stayed put. The rest came to me. I've never had boundaries aside from the limitations of my own abilities. I play what feels right to me and I have a certain style of my own mixed with influences I've stolen from all eras and genres (I hate genres).
2. The object, the mission, the overall target and ethos of the crew in question and, how the hell do you hope to convert some of the zombified, nostalgia soaked, retro-obsessed heads out there?
Guy: Ha, ha, missionary zeal? Trawling barbarian wastelands, capturing and subverting any souls we consider lost or lonely? We want to connect not to convert. Motivation is the moment our intro kicks in, that sudden shift in focus, the visible pulling together of the energies and the elements from both band and audience and the sharing of a unique moment. We’re hooked – sometimes it’s badly cut but hey, that’s life. We’ll keep seeking others with whom we can share our next fix whilst every now and again fantasising about a time that we may get some beer and petrol tokens to wash it all down with…
Lynn: Object: To enjoy! - Target: Whoever listens. - Converts: Not bothered. "Like us, don't like us ... Whatever"
3. The best achievement and the biggest failure of the band so far and any personal highs you wish to throw in?
Guy: That we’re still together is probably our greatest achievement ;-) Seriously, there have been a whole series of highs each of which has been the best in their own way. The first time we noticed people tapping their feet. The first time we had folk dancing. The first time that randomers came up to us afterwards and started saying all kinds of nice things about us. After that I guess it would have been our second gig… More seriously (like) the reaction to us has left us somewhat flabbergasted. We’re just a bunch of old fat – to be fair quite a bit of the fat is relatively new – gits kicking back against the norms. Then there were the two new friends who travelled 11000 (yes, that’s eleven thousand) miles each way to see us – no matter what happens in future it won’t ever get much better than that!
Our biggest failure? We never managed to get a slot at Rebellion – that was a postman pat bucket and spade set wasted ;-(.
Lynn: Best achievement? Finding each other. - Biggest failure? Agreeing with each other. Personal High? Being appreciated.
4. The political climate, the apathetic streak in society, the willingness to join the flock - these are things that rankle me, force me to get up and shift my ass - what are your thoughts and where do you find your inspiration and motive to make a racket?
Guy: Technology has replaced religion as the control mechanism of choice, the opiate of the people. A globally managed immersive experience moulding entire nations into being predominantly consumer or producer. You have social networking to offer an illusion of connectedness but to our manipulators, and their politician puppets, you are nothing more other than a veal calf fouling your own box with the waste from an artificially manufactured diet of carbohydrates, proteins, sugars and sedatives. I’m alive and I know the combination to my inner cage! What better inspiration and motivation?
Lynn: I just like hitting things! It's more civilised than hitting people.
5. Corduroy underpants - arousing, difficult to clean or just plain expensive - elaborate please and which do you prefer - deep fried TV's or slightly boiled light bulbs (each comes with its own complimentary sauce).
Guy: Just why? Given me visions of boxers like archetypal 1970’s students with leather elbow patches, lank hair, ‘taches and a permanent dank musty smell that hung over Clyde and Old Lansdowne Roads. I can’t comment, I need to lie down… for a long while… Deep fried anything is just so yes, however indulgence should be limited with focus falling firmly on lightly boiled, helping to retain the goodness thus giving that the syphilis curing mercury a greater chance to do its thing.
Lynn: None of the above. I'm actually rather partial to cold sausages.
6. The construction of a tune (or perhaps deconstruction) - how do you get from a to b and then the finished product?
Guy: I’m a lazy fucker - I hate practising songs but I have to play something to keep the calluses in shape so I doodle all over the strings: occasionally coming up with a sweet pattern and even less occasionally remembering it the day after ;-). Then comes my other excuse for not practising – “I know, let’s record something and piss about for the rest of the night – they’re all instruments so it counts right”. Two shakes of a lamb’s tail, perhaps a wave or two of a hallucinating kitten’s paw and a slice of aural gunge is born. Quickly email it off to the others, get to next rehearsal and eagerly play my bit whilst they look at me with them big sad puppy dog eyes before playing something completely different on top. Nowt as queer as folk…
Drummer has studio. Throw the singer in the kitchen for a bit of separation and then … well, you know the score Dave, its like oh, was that it?
Lynn: A (the "song") + B (The Jam) = C (The noise) / D (a different performance every time).
7. The joys and gripes of being in a band, being part of the human race and trying to do something positive against a very draining flow?
Guy: Focussing different energies into a single force – it can be hard to sustain that level of intensity internally. If you recognise the “forces” drawn up against you then it is relatively easy to sustain a positive guerrilla style momentum without losing too much sleep...
Lynn: Gripes: High Stages with no steps. Venues with stairs. Apathetic promoters.
8. Plastic anal openings and rubber nipples - these are the latest craze in Batley - why do you think this is and would you have an affair with a dead rugby player?
Guy: I thought I’d turned backing me photies up to iCloud off. Damn!
Lynn: A) Because they have no good music? - B) No. Not even if he's still warm.
9. The music scene - how do you feel about it at all levels - has the underground scene lost its bite, are too many sinking, how do you plan to survive in this murky ocean?
Guy: Too many sheep. Too many people wishing or willing to be placed into the boxes created to commoditise and dilute the dangers lurking at the periphery of society in order to lazily join or attract others within herds managed by self-appointed taste-makers who profit through mass reproduction of any original passion. The minute you hear or see the word genre stick your fingers in your ears and gurn heartily whilst singing some random nonsense as loudly as you can. We love to play, so long as there are people out there who want to hear us we will try to find them whilst trying our utmost to reject the concept of and assimilation into a scene
Lynn: Without music life would be quieter and I'd have very little to do in my recording studio. The underground scene sank years ago, together with most of the overground scene. I survive by not expecting too much.
10. Describe your fellow band members using words beginning with the letters C, L, I and T.
Guy: Whatever any of them says I’ll go along with ;-)
Lynn: Creative, Loud, Interesting and Tetchy
11. The parcel and packaging of a product I feel is an important necessity in attracting a punter as well as the noise itself and the attitude of the band. Are these areas you put forethought into or do you let it flow naturally?
Guy: The vast majority is just us being us.
Lynn: Forethought: 20%, Go with the flow: 80%
12. Finally her travesty the queen has bent over, her knickers have ripped, bare flesh is exposed and you just happen to have a marker pen - scrawl thy promotion on the so-called royal rear, daub a message to convince us of thy wares on the flatulent, idling posterior - go, go, go.
Lynn: "Squizzers we’re 'ere!"
Debz: I’d give her a good fucking with the marker pen just so that I could say I had.